


Purify

by killians-dashingrescue (caroc25)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: CS AU, Captain Swan - Freeform, F/M, cs modern au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-03-03 22:21:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 36,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2890040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caroc25/pseuds/killians-dashingrescue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma has been in long term relationship with Neal, but lately things have been complicated between them. After meeting Killian Jones, she starts to question her relationship with Neal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So some of you might have already read this story before. It was actually the first story I wrote, and I still haven't finished it. I've been trying very hard to finish it but I seem unable to do it whenever I look at how the story is written and basically everything. Since I really want to finish this story and let Emma and Killian have their happy, especially since it's the first idea I ever had, so I decided to restart the story, working around what was already written. This is the first part that has already been rewritten, and the following chapters should follow shortly.
> 
> Reviews are always welcome, in fact they are encourage since they help me motivate to update faster!
> 
> I hope you like the changes, and for those who haven't read it well I hope you like it!
> 
> Thanks to Nicki, oncertwice for supporting me in this and helping me editing the mistakes!

Emma was walking towards her favorite coffee house the same she visited every morning. Today she was desperate for a cup of coffee, and she normally didn't drink coffee. She was more of a hot chocolate type of girl, with whipped cream and some cinnamon on top. The desperation for caffeine was due to her boyfriend, who didn't let her sleep at all last night and not for the good reason.

Neal has been in a foul mood for a couple of months now, ever since he decided to go back to school. His choice was motivated by the fact that he didn't want Emma to be the one to provide for him since she was the only one with a steady job. After a while he decided to study something that would lead him with a job other than a lousy one. He had been so wrapped up with his assignments, that sleep has made itself scarce for him, leading to insomnia, nightmares and during the day a very tense boyfriend. Lately, they had been getting into fights quite regularly, and the things with the two of them was that, when they fought, it was pretty heated. Last night was no exception.

If Emma wanted to survive her day at work, she would need a big dose of caffeine. She finally arrived to destination, and opened the familiar glass door. The scent of sweet delicacy, freshly cooked coffee beans and of warm pastries invaded her senses combined with the cozy atmosphere almost instantly calmed her nerves a bit. She made a beeline for the counter and stood in front of it as she skimmed through the menu, analyzing the different kind of coffee drinks available. She finally settlled for a latte and turned to the barista behind the counter to place her order, but before she could she was cut off by another customer.

"Black coffee to go, please." The lilted voice in front of her ordered.

She went to stand next to him, and cleared her throat to make her presence known to the line-cutter, her arms crossed in front of her chest. The man turned his head around to face her, her breathing altered for a second when she actually _looked_ at him. Dark-brown hair, a scruff that had been growing for acouple of days now, and a set of incredibly breathtaking eyes. Needless to say, the man was attractive, and she almost didn't realize that she was actually staring with her mouth slightly open at the man that she was about to give a piece of her mind. He raised an eyebrow at her, a smirk on his face, that was enough to bring her back to reality and resume her original task.

"Excuse me, I don't know if you noticed, but I was ordering here." She glared at him, her voice stern.

"Sorry lass, from my perspective you were still undecided. I could make it up to you, if that's what the lady desires." His eyes roamed her body, winking at her when his eyes levelled with hers.

"Seriously? You're flirting with me now!" She rolled her eyes as she scoffed at him. "You're unebelievable."

"Well that's what I've been told." A smug grin plastered on his face.

"Ugh, you're disgusting."

"Oh really now?" He turned the rest of his body towards her, his head tilting to the side. "Is that why were checking me out before?" Emma felt caught and that must have registered on her face. The barista handed him his coffee, and she decided to keep her eyes on the transaction not wanting to look directly at him.

"I was not checking you out!" Her tone was defensive and high, and she cursed herself for acting that way. "You just caught me by surprise, and you were being rude by cutting me off."

"Keep telling yourself that, love." He grabbed his coffee in one hand and closed the space between them, invading her personal space. He leaned his face towards her ear, and felt the warmth of his breath caress her neck. "I know I was."

With that said, he took a step back and winked at her before walking out of the coffee shop. Emma stayed immobile for a moment her eyes fixed on the door in which the handsome, yet annoying, stranger left, her mind still trying to assess what just happened. She shook her head to help her regain her senses and finally managed to order her latte and chocolate chip muffin. With her coffee in hand and her pastrie in a brown bag she headed out to work, and tried to forget the recent encounter her morning started off with.

-/-

The day was long and tiredsome, as she had a lot of difficult cases to handle and also the fact that she had started out the day completely exhausted. Being a social worker was never an easy job, but today proved to a bit demanding. Emma worked at a center for disadvantage children and youth with a big array of issues, going from the usual difficulties that comes of being a teenager to kids being abused in all the possible ways.

Her day started off when one of her young teenage girls burst into her office in a state of panic, telling her that her boyfriend had forced her to have sex with him and she had just discovered that she was now pregnant. She was completely terrified on telling her foster parents about it, afraid of what they would say or do to her. That case took out most of her day, and now she felt a mix of sadness and exhaustion.

Emma loved her job, the fact that she could make even a small difference in a child or a teenagers life was the most rewarding feeling in the world. If it could prevent some of those kids to endure what she had to endure as a child, her work was done. She did sometimes wonder how she could still have the will to do her job, since every now and then she left work discouraged, sad and frustrated. Today was one of those days.

Relief washed through her when she caught sight of her building and finally reached the entrance. The only thing on her mind right now was laying down on her couch and relax. She unlocked the door to her apartment and entered as she dropped her purse on the floor. She walked further into her apartment as she shook her jacket off and saw Neal sitting at the dinning table as he typed eagerly on his computer, books scattered across the table.

"Still working on that assignment?" Drapping her red leather coat on one of the chair she waited for him to answer.

He mumbled something without even looking up from his computer which actually didn't surprise her. A sigh slipped through her lips and decided to go to the kitchen to start the kettle to make herself some tea. Her steps faltered when she saw the pile of dirty dishes in the sink, her arms dropping to her side as a frusrated sigh mixed with a groan made itself heard.

"Seriously Neal, you stayed home all day to finish your assignment and you couldn't even take five minutes to clean up the dishes!" She blurted out as she walked back to where her boyfriend was sitting.

"I told you I have to finish this today and then I have study for one of my other class, so no I didn't have time." His voice harsh, eyes still fixed on his computer screen.

"That is always your excuse. I know that you're swamped with all of you work, but you know you are not the only one living here. I come back from work every day exhausted, I do the cleaning, the supper and I pay the rent to help you out and you can't even do the fucking dishes!"

"Come on Emma, I really don't need this right now" Neal finally lifted his head up, an annoyed look molding his traits.

"Really! Well me neither, I am tired of having this goddamned argument every day, and of being your cleaning lady!" She told him her voice raising, hovering the line between loud and screaming.

The frustration of having the same argument over and over and having no change in their situation was too much for her. Her cheeks were turning red and felt the need to go out for fresh air and escape the same routine Neal and her have embarked upon. She grabbed her coat from the chair and her puse and stormed off of her appartment.

The fresh air helped her to cool down a bit, but didn't help her frustration to dissipate. Determined not to let her friday night be ruined by another fight with Neal, she decided to see the only person who could distract her from her problems. She texted her friend asking her if she wanted to go out for a drink, since she was in desperate need for one. Emma walked towards their usual spot, as Ruby told her she'll be there in fifteen minutes. She was already near their bar and arrived there in a matter of minutes. She entered the crowded bar and walked directly to the counter and sat one of the bar stools. Taking out her phone from her coat, she decided to check for her mails while she waiting for her friend. Suddenly, a familiar voice made itself heard behind the bar, a lilted accent that she recently heard.

"Well look who it is! Fancy seeing you here love." A shiver ran down her spine as she recognized that voice belonging to the handsome stranger she had just met that morning.

_You've got to be kidding me._


	2. Chapter 2

Her eyes blinked a couple of times as she tried to absorb the fact that the annoying man who flirted with her that same morning was now standing behind the bar, in  her bar.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Her voice came out shocked, which needless to say, she was. 

 

“Well lass, the fact that I’m standing behind the counter means that I work here, didn’t you know that?” Emma rolled her eyes at his sassy comment, and let out a groan of annoyance. 

 

“No need to sound too excited to see me.” He added as he saw her reaction, clearly wanting to push her buttons a bit more. 

 

Ass.

 

“Yeah well, with the day that I had I could’ve passed seeing a arrogant guy like you” She quipped back, quickly looking at the time on her watch, hoping that her friend will get here soon.

 

“If you had such a horrible day, let me offer you a drink lass.” His hand grabbed a glass whilst the other fetch a liquor bottle and filled the glass with an amber liquid. Emma eyed the barman and the drink he was handing her, and was a bit skeptical about accepting it.

 

“Sorry, but I don’t take drinks from strangers.”

 

“Well, if that’s what’s holding you back on accepting a mere drink from a devilishly handsome barman, let me introduce myself.” He took her hand in his and leanned forward his eyes never leaving hers. “Killian Jones.” His breath danced above the skin of her hand, her eyes transfixed on his face, as he closed the space between her hand and his lips, and pressed a soft and warm kiss on her delicate hand. 

 

The contact of his lips on her hand, made her stomach flip over and over. She felt her cheeks warm up, and she couldn’t be more grateful for the dim lighting of the place since she had a feeling that he would rub it in if he saw her all flustered. He had finally leaned back a bit, taking the warmth of his body with him, but his hand kept his hold on hers. She finally snapped out of the spell he had put her under and drew back her hand and tried to put as much distance as she could between them.

 

“I’m still not taking it, Jones.” She grabbed her phone and her purse and was ready to leave to take another seat when suddenly she saw and heard a brunette with red lips yellling her name as she walkied towards her, waving her hand. 

  
  


“You’re already here. Oh and I see that you’ve already met Killian.” Ruby said quite excitedly as her gaze shifted between her and him.

 

“I guess I did.” Emma tried to avoid eye contact with Killian, since she was half expecting him to give her his usual smirk, especially now that he knew her name, since Ruby yelled it loud enough for the whole bar to know it.

 

“Emma and I were just getting to know each other, weren’t we love?” She damned him for saying her name and make it sound so wonderful, but then she looked at him as he winker at her yet again and she then went back into being fully annoyed by him. She glared at him and then turned her attention to her friend, now wanting to get as far from him as she could.

 

“So Ruby, do you want to go sit in a booth? I think we’re going to be a bit more comfortable than sitting at the bar.” And as far away from Killian, she finished in her head.

 

“Sure. See you later Killian.” They both turned around and were ready to go when Killian called her out again, and she inwardly groaned as she turned her head to look at him yet again.

 

“Don’t forget to come back for that drink I owe you.” She forced a smile and then walked towards the booth in which Ruby was already waiting for her. Emma couldn’t pinpoint what it was, but there was something about Killian that made her uncomfortable, as if despite all of his flirting there was a genuine caring man underneath.

 

“What the hell was that back there?” Her friend exclaimed the moment she sat down,

 

“What was what?” She replied as she feigned ignorance, and settled her coat and purse next to her.

 

“Don’t play dumb, you and Killian. You guys know each other?”

 

“Yes. No.” Ruby looked at her a bit confused with her answer, and Emma sighed before going into more details.

 

“I met him this morning when I went to get my morning coffee. He cut the line in front of me, and I got pissed and then he started flirting with me and I got more pissed.” Ruby couldn’t stop laughing at her story as she imagined how the scene played out which irritated her, a bit.

 

“Killian can be a big flirt, but I think he likes you.”

 

“Yeah, I got that. How do  you know him?

 

Ruby was about to tell her when they got interrupted by the waitress. They both gave their order, a pint of beer each. When the waitress left the table, she turned her attention back to her friend with an eyebrow raised as she waited for an answer to her question. The brunette looked up at her with a huge smile.

 

“Two weeks ago, I was working at the restaurant and I met this guy Victor. And we kind of hit it off and went in a couple of date since then. Last week end, I went out and joined him and a couple of his friends and met Killian. He’s Victor’s best friend.” Her eyes were shining and sparkling as she talked about the new man in her life.

 

“You like this guy a lot don’t you?” Ruby blushed as her grin grew wider and nodded.

 

The waitress camre back with their orders, and they both paid for their drinks and cheered before taking a sip. The cold beer made it’s way down her throat and it was exactly what Emma needed and she felt her day slowly brushing off her shoulders, feeling lighter.

 

“Anything new with you?” Asked Ruby as she settled her pint back on the coaster.

 

“Not much. Work is demanding as usual, but going well in spite of it. I still love what I do.” She replied casually as she took another sip, knowing what was going to be asked next, the reason why she wanted to see her friend.

 

“How are things with Neal?” The brunette asked with prudence, knowing it was a delicate subject lately.

 

Emma licked the foam that had settled on her upper lip after her latest sip, and sighed defeated.

 

“Not good, uh?” Her friend looked at her with a concerned look, her hand going to squeeze hers in a reassuring matter, to let her know that she was there for her.

 

“No. I feel like I don’t exist for him anymore, and when I do, he is always in a awful mood. It’s like there’s this huge, thick brick wall between us constantly. It has been weeks now since we have had sex, and the last time we did, it was more to scratch an itch than making love.” Tears started to prickle the corner of her eyes, overwhelmed by the state of her relationship with Neal.

 

“Do you still love him?” 

 

“I don’t know.” 

 

“Do you know what you want to do?” Ruby inquired.

  
“I don’t know.” Emma’s hand went to wipe the tears that were threatening to roll down her cheeks. She then looked around the bar, as she tried to chase those tears away, her glance going across the counter and settled her gaze on Killian as he poured a pitcher of beer. He raised his head and looked towards her as if he knew she was looking at him. She doesn’t know why, but she smiled at him, one he returned. She couldn’t explain why or how, but that small act consoled her in a unexplicable manner.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma woke up this morning with a huge headache, regretting immediately the amount of alcohol she ingested the previous night. She had talked about Neal for awhile with Ruby, and she had decided that it was her duty to cheer her up, by ordering omre drinks. They changed the topic of their discussion pretty fast going from Neal to Ruby’s job at the restaurant, telling her about the weird customers she recently had. She had gotten in charge of the Red Wolf, which used to be run by her grandmother. When Granny decided to retire she had passed on the torch to her granddaughter. She had so far made a wonderful job and recently renovated the place to pull a modern twist it while keeping the same cozy atmosphere.

After a couple of pints, Ruby ordered some shots as they got to reminisce their time in high school when they were up to no good. It was getting pretty late, and they were both getting pretty drunk when they decided to leave, the brunette dragging her to Killian’s side of the bar, insisting to say goodbye. The fact that it was Friday night never crosse Ruby’s mind, his side of the counter was packed. Filled with a bunch of girls giggling and eyeing Killian, fighting for his attention, and of course he was smirking like an idiot flirting his way around. What a surprise. Her friend insisted as she tried to make a way for them to get past the crowd, but after a couple of minutes, Emma insisted on going telling her that he wouldn’t miss them, to which she finally agreed. They walked out of the bar and talked a bit in front of it enjoying the breeze, helping them sober up. They ended up by hugging each other and both went their seperate ways.

Emma turned around in her bed and noticed that Neal wasn’t next to her. She raised her head to scan the room but no sign of him. He must have gotten up early to work on his computer, like he usually did. She shifted on her bed and looked at the time on her alarm clock and noticed that it was only 9h20. Emma sighed tiredly, she could have slept more. She never understood why, but every time that she went to bed somewhat tipsy she would sleep only a couple of hours, and not being able to fall back asleep.

Since she couldn’t sleep anymore, she decided to get up and go wash her face in the bathroom. Her reflection horrified her when she saw her hair all tangled with knots, mascara smudge under her eyes making her look like a panda, and not the cute kind. She grabbed her brush and started working on the knots and then pulled her hair in a ponytail. She then proceeded to wash her face and get rid of last night make up.

 

After she finished cleaning herself, Emma went to the kitchen to grab some water and make herself a hot chocolate. As she arrived in the kitchen, she saw from the corner of her eye a piece of paper laying on the counter with something written on it

_Went to the library, be back at four._

His note didn’t surprise, not one bit. She couldn’t brush this annoying and nagging feeling that had left that note, sad that once again, in moments that they could share together he wouldn’t be there. Not wanting to start her day gloomy, depressed and angry she decided to make herself a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and cinnamon and some pancakes.

She then proceeded to go into her living room with the food she had made for herself and turned on the television. After choosing a movie on Netflix, she settled herself comfortably on her couch and ate her breakfast. Without even noticing it, she fell asleep. A persistent ringing echoed throughout the room, the striding sound waking her up. She spotted the source of sound and grabbed her phone as she looked at her caller ID. A hand brushed her hair out of her eyes as she cleared throat before answering.

"Hello." She greeted Mary Margaret as she tried to sound awake.

“Hi Emma! I’m calling real quick wondering if we are still on for tonight? David and I can’t wait to see you guys.” She told her with her usual sweet and soothing voice.

“Oh right, it’s tonight. Sure, no problem.” She answered as she raised her upper body so she could sit on her couch. “What time are you guys are coming?”

“Look Emma, if you forgot and want to postpone, we won’t mind.” Her friend replied as she tried not to sound too disapointed.

“No, really it’s fine. It’s been awhile since we saw each other. I really miss you guys.” She could hear Mary Margaret’s smile, her mood lifting up.

“Great! How about seven?” She chirped.

“Perfect, see you then.”

Emma looked at the time on her phone, her eyebrows raising as she noticed that it was already three. She texted Neal to remind him that David and Mary Margaret were coming over later that night for supper. She got up and decided to clean her apartment and then went to take a quick shower. When she finished, she grabbed a fresh pair of skinny jeans, a black top and a red sweater. The moment she left her bedroom she heard the entrance door open as Neal came back from the library.

“Hey.” He greets her as he puts down his backpack on the floor.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, her stance sending him the message that she was still mad.

“Look, I’m sorry about last night and my attitude lately.” She kept her eyes set on him, glaring. He sighed defeatedly before continuing. “I know I haven’t been a great boyfriend, that I haven’t been around and that every time we see each other I’m an awful mood and take it out on you.” His voice was apologetic, his demeanour pitiful.

Emma didn’t reply, just stood there keeping her stance. When he saw that she wasn’t going to respond, he took a step forward his eyes avoiding hers as he opened and closed his mouth, not knowing how to continue. HIs eyes finally met hers.

“I know that you’re angry and I get it. But it’s hard to go back to school after so long and I really don’t want to mess things up. I’m doing this for us!.” She blinked a couple of times, her eyes looking at the floor quickly.

“Look. I’m happy that you decided to do something for yourself, so you could stop having crappy jobs, but right now you are not doing us any favors. I’m so tired to clean up after you, to attend your every need as if I was your mom. What about me? My work is depressing sometimes and the only thing I want is to come home and have my boyfriend take care of me every once and awhile. You know, having the supper ready or at least having the dishes washed. Am I asking too much?” She blurted the whole thing out, barely stopping to catch her breath.

His shoulders slouched as he digested her rant.

“No, it isn’t.” His words almost inaudible, Emma almost not hearing his answer. “I really want to make things better. I’m gonna try to help around the apartment, not take my stress out on you and be more present. Make time for us, for you. What do you say?” He begged as he took her hands in his, thumb caressing the top of her hand.

Emma was speechless. He had just told her what she wanted to hear. Promising to help, to be in a better mood, to be there for her, for them. She searched his eyes, and saw that he was being sincere, he did want to make things better. But there was the small voice at the back of her head, telling her that it wouldn’t last, that it was only an empty promise. She still could give him a chance, right?

“Fine. She answered, defeated. The only thing she wanted is things to go back the way they were. That same voice came to nag her, telling her it won’t. Emma pushed down that thought, she needed this to work with Neal, afraid that if it didn’t, she wouldn’t handle her heart being broken and finding herself alone again if he left her. She shook her head to chase those ideas and looked up at Neal. In attempt to lighten the mood, she cast him a small smile as he took her in his arms and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. The first time in a long time showing her any form of affection, it was nice.

“Do you want to help me with the supper?” She asked as she looked up at him.

“Sure” He answered with a smile.

-/-

At seven sharp, there was a knock on the door, David and Mary Margaret not even waiting for them to answer and let themselves in with a bottle of red wine in hand. Emma and Neal went to greet her friends, pulling the brunette in a tight affectionate hug, David and her boyfriend greeting each other as they patted themselves on their back.

The evening was pleasant, Emma enjoying the company of her friends. It had been a long time since she had got the chance to see them and kept telling herself that they should this more often. The couple were one of her closest friends, with Ruby, and she considered them all like family. She had met David while she was in college, he was majoring in criminology and they both had a psychology class together. On the first day of class they were already given an assignment and since David was sitting next to her, he asked her if she wanted to do the work with him. Something about him made her feel safe, like he was a good guy and that she could trust him. And she was right, she considered and treated him like a brother and he treated her the same way.

She met Mary Margaret through David, they were high school sweethearts and they still were madly in love with each other. Their love was so pure and deep, trusted each other so blindingly that she couldn’t help herself to have this twinge of envy, knowing that her own relationship with Neal would never going to level with theirs.

Even though she did love Neal, she never felt that she could trust him with the entirety of her heart, she couldn’t afford to get it damaged it again. Not giving herself completely to him ensure her to have this sort of protection from him, from pain. Lately she wasn’t that sure that it worked. Since their discussion earlier, he did try to make it up to her, but there was still this lingering awkwardness between them. While they were making supper together, he tried to make her laugh, be affectionate but it felt forced and off, as if it wasn’t them anymore.

After they finished their second bottle of wine, David and Mary Margaret started to look at each other, with a conspiring look.

“Do we tell them?” David asked the brunette. She nodded and shifted on her seat, a smile on the corner of her lips. She cleared her throat and turned her gaze towards her and Neal.

“Wha have a big announcement to make.” She started to say, drawing out the silence as to put emphasis on the suspense.

“We’re engaged!” She exclaim as she showed the ring on her left hand. A small silver circular band with a small diamond in the middle. Simple and sophisticated, just like her. Emma’s eyes went wide, as she shout out her excitement and happiness.

“Congratulations! I’m so happy for you guys!” She got up from her chair and went around the table to give the newly engaged couple a hug.

“Congratulations man.” Expressed Neal as he gave the David a one armed hug. “So when is the bachelor party so we can go wild?” Neal asked jokingly, making her roll her eyes at his comment, a bit repelled by it. Before she had time to get fully annoyed by his comment, Mary Margaret caught her attention by touching her arm.

“Emma, I was wondering if you would like to be my maid of honour?” She asked shyly, her request leaving her dumbfounded.

“Yes! It’ll love to!” She yelped, as the bride to be jumped with excitement.

“Thank you so much.”

“By the way, we are having an engagement party next Saturday, so you guys make sure to clear your evening. We want both of you there.” Announced David, his index finger pointed at them as he attempted to look menacing.

 _ _  
__Emma shook her head as she laughed at his brotherly stance. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it took a bit more time to get this chapter ready, I got carried away with some issues at home and some other stories that I was writing. I don't know when the next part should be up, hopefully soon.
> 
> Hope you like this part :) Caro xx

Emma was heading towards _The Red Wolf_ , Ruby's restaurant, to help with the preparation of their friends' engagement party. Ruby had closed the place to her customers so Mary Margaret and David could have their party there. The moment she got there, she helped her friend put on some decorations around the place, so it would look more festive. She was now on the latter trying to hang this banner that congratulated the couple, while Ruby held the latter so it wouldn't move.

"You look to be in a better mood than last week." Her friend told her as she gave her piece adhesive tape.

Emma looked down at her with a small smile as she realised that her friend was right, she was feeling better than she had last week or any other week.

"I guess I am." She grabbed the tape from her Ruby's finger and resumed her task. "Neal and I talked the day after we saw each other. He told me that he wanted to make it up t me and make an effort to make things better."

Emma climbed down the small ladder and moved it to the other side of the wall so she could hang the banner at the other end.

"And?" Ruby asked as she followed Emma with the ladder.

"He's trying. This week I came back to the apartment and the place was clean which is a big step considering the state in which it was all the other weeks." When she finished, she climbed down and closed the ladder.

Emma then noticed Ruby looking at her with a serious and concerned look, one that made her feel nervous all of a sudden.

"Do you think it'll last? I mean I'm happy you guys talked but I don't want you to get your hopes up if he ends up disappointing you again."

Her friend had voiced the concerned that has been hanging at the back of her head for the last couple of days, one that she tried to ignore.

"I don't know. Maybe." She let out a deep sigh as she finally meet the brunette's concerned gaze. "I hope."

Ruby smiled her hand resting on her shoulders. "I hope so too. And let's face it, it is a good sign that Neal is trying." She could tell that she was trying to be optimistic but she knew deep down that she didn't really believed it will last, which made her wonder the same.

"Is he coming tonight?"

"He will. There's a chance he might arrive a bit late since he wanted to finish an assigment. He wants to go out and have fun without worrying about school stuff."

Ruby nodded. Hands on her hips, she turned around to look at the decorations that they hanged up and smiled.

"How about we go get change and make ourselves drop dead gorgeaous for tonight?" Emma laughed at her friend enthusiasm and followed her steps to her appartment on top of the restaurant.

-/-

Emma was running a bit late since she had decided to change the look of her hair a bit by curling them with Ruby's curling iron. The brunette had surprinsignly finished getting ready way before her, which was some kind of a record, and headed back downstairs so she could start greeting the guests with the newly engaged couple.

She inspected her look on Ruby's lenghty mirror, and smiled at herself, proud on the way she looked for the night, the red dress complementing her curves and light skin and the pair of black pumps giving the impresiion that her legs ran for miles. Emma also applied a bit of make-up to make her green eyes pop more. Before heading downstair to join the party, she debated with herself as to if she left her purse in Ruby's room or drag it down with her until she finally opted for leaving in her friend's appartment only taking her purse and phone.

Once she arrived at the restaurant, Emma reluctantly entered the room as she notived that she barely knew the people that had already arrived. She took a deep breath and walked further in and managed to find the happy couple and went to greet them before heading towards the bar. Emma took a flute of champagne and settled herself ona stool as she watched the interaction between people. Neal would probably arrived later, and she didn't want to intrude while Ruby mingled with the patrons and as Mary Margaret and David being the center of attention, weren't very available to just hang out.

As her eyes scanned the people talking in the room, she recognized some of them. There were some acquainteances of David and Mary Margaret from high school, some she knew from college, some from their respective jobs and their families. The only member of their family she really knew was David's mother, Ruth. Emma had met her when she was in college and David had invited her for the holidays since she didn't have a family to go back to.

Ruth was a kind, warm and loving person who always greeted her with open arms, treating her as if she was her own child. One New Year's, she even told Emma that she was the daughter that she never had the chance to have, the thought only, still overwhelming her since she had spent all her life thinking that no one wanted of her. That is, until the Nolan's.

When Emma spotted her in the crowd, she got up from her stool and walked towards her relieved that she knew someone that she actually wanted to talk to.

"Hi Ruth." She rested her hand lightly on the woman's shoulder, the action making her turn around, a wide smile lighting her wise features.

"Emma darling." She greeted her with her usual warm voice as she opened her arms and pulled her in a tight hug.

"You look gorgeous as always." Complimented Ruth making Emma blush a tiny bit as she thanked her. "How are you?"

"I've been good. How about you? You must have been very happy and proud that David is finally engaged to Mary Margaret."

"Of course, I'm always proud of him and I couldn't be more happy that he finally asked her hand in marriage."

She smiled at her Ruth and suddenly felt a bit envious of David on having such a caring and loving mother who was proud of him. She'll never get to have that. Ruth did see her has her own daughter but the reality was that she wasn't, and no matter how proud and happy she'll be for her, it would never be the same as having her own parents having those feelings for her.

"How about you? When are you and Neal be getting married?" Emma was taken aback with her question making her choke on her drink. She decided to take another sip to stall a little while before answering.

"Uh, well, not now that's for sure. Neal went back to school a couple of months back, he's been quite busy. I guess we'll see after that."

A small smile came across Ruth face, a hint of what she thought was disappointment. Emma could clearly see she was hoping would tie the knot with Neal at the same time her son did with his high school girlfriend. Emma remembers when she had told her she started seeing Neal, she was so ecstatic and happy for her, convinced she was heading towards her own happy ending.

Ruby walked towards them and went to greet Ruth, and Emma couldn't be more grateful for it, the discussion made her feel uncomfotable. Marriage and Neal were two words she didn't see in a sentence without a negative form in it.

"Hi Ruth! David and Mary Margaret are over there if you want to go and see them." Her friend said as she pointed at the other side of the room, in direction of the couple.

"Thank you, sweetie. I'll see you later, Emma." Said Ruth while squeezing her hand lightly, as if she was telling her to hang in there, her turn will come.

When she turned around to face Ruby, the brunette had a huge grin molding her traits and looked far too excited for her taste.

"What?" She asked with a worry look, knowing that her friend was either up to something or about to do something Emma didn't approve of.

"There's someone I want you to meet." She didn't let time for Emma to reply and grabbed her hand, pulling her over on one side of the restaurant. The brunette stopped when they reached a handsome blond man.

"Emma, this is Victor." Ruby left Emma's side to go to his, her hand lacing with his large one. "Victor this is my best friend, Emma."

"Nice to meet you Emma. I've heard a lot of good things about you, and not only from Ruby." He told her with a smile before taking a sip from his tumbler.

She felt her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Who could have talked to him about her aside from Ruby. She didn't have time to voice her confusion, her silent question being answered by the lilted voice behind her.

"Hello beautiful."

Emma turned around and was face to face with Killian with his usual smirk as she couldn't help but to stare at him for a second or two. He was (despite his annoying self) handsome as always wearing a pairk of dark blue jeans and a black dress shirt that made his sparkling blue eyes pop. Of course, the first buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned as they revealed the hair covering his chest. Emma had to chastise herself when she imagined what it would be like to run her hand under the his shirt and how far did that chest hair went.

She regained her composure as she straightened herself and pushed back those thoughts.

"What are you doing here, Jones?" She asked quite pleased that her voice came out laced with annoyance.

"Can I say how much I enjoy the passion with which you greet me everytime we see each other?" He teased her as she rolled her eyes at his comment.

She then turned her head in Ruby's direction to glare at her for not warning her that Killian would be here. But when she reached the spot next to her, she noticed that Ruby and Victor had disapeared into the crowd leaving her alone with the Brit. She let out an exasperated sigh feeling betrayed by her friend and suddenly noticed that Killian had stepped closer, so close that she could feel the heat emanate from his body invade her. Her heart suddenly picked up the pace, not understanding why his proximity affected her as such. Well, she had a hint of the reasons it made her react that why, but was not mentally prepared to face the meaning and consequences of those reasons.

"To answer your question, Swan, as you may be aware, Victor is my friend. Ruby invited him here tonight and since he knew he wouldn't know anybody here, he asked me if I could accompany him." Killian leaned closer as he raised his hand and toyed with a loose strand of hair. "And I was told that there was a possibility to see you here, which is good incentive especially since I didn't manage to give you that drink I owe you the other night."

Emma felt her stomach doing something it hadn't done in a very long time, it flipped as she felt her mouth go dry when she saw the way he was looking at her. She swallowed her and took a step back as she tried to get some distance from him.

"Even if I would have wanted that drink, it would have been impossible to get it since you were way too preoccupied seducing those girls that were gawking at you." She spat, mentally cursing to herself for sounding like a jealous girlfriend.

Killian's face cracked a teasing smile, eyebrow raised.

"Are you jealous, love?" He teased, his grin widening when she shifted on her feet and let out a puff of air.

"In your dreams."

"Well, in my dreams there are far less people and clothes involved." He drawled out and she realized that his fingers were still playing with a loose curl.

Emma felt herself blush at his comment while her heart increased it's pace. He finally tucked her strand of hair behind her ear as he took the opportunity of leaning in even further. His mouth lowered, levelling her ear as she felt his breath brush the skin of her neck.

"Even though it would be a shame to waste that dress of yours. I must say you look absolutely gorgeous tonight love." He told her in a low deep sultry voice, sending a shiver down her spine.

He finally leaned back, making it easier to breath without the warmth of his body, as he winked at her. That was enough to make her annoyed again and not hot and bothered (which she shouldn't feel, she has a boyfriend). Emma was about to quip something back but was suddenly interrupted by a familiar voice, bringing her back to reality.

"Hey, babe." Neal greeted as he walked towards them, Emma trying to put as much distance as she could from Killian.

When he finally reached them, Neal pulled her to his side, his arm snaking around her waist in a possesive manner and kissed her, the action surprising her a bit since he wasn't one for public display of affection. From the corner of her eye, she noticed that Killian hid his hands into the pockets of his pants, feets fidgeting lightly as he avoide to look at them clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

"Hey." Emma replied, her voice raspy as she then cleared her troat. She glanced quickly at Killian and felt the tension get heavier.

"Um, Neal this is Killian, Killian this is my boyfriend Neal." God this was awkward. Killian nodded at her boyfriend with quick ' _hello'_ while Neal glared at the Brit.

"Do you want to go say hi to David and Mary Margaret?" She asked wanting to flee whatever this was.

"Yeah, let's go." Answered Neal his eyes never leaving Killian's and lowered his hand to the small of her back as he led her towards her friends.

She took a quick look at him, as she muttered a ' _see you later Jones_ ' to which he just smiled.

As they walked through the crowd, Neal started to ask her questions about the dark haired man who was obviously flirting with her.

"So who's that guy?" He asked her with jealousy layering his tone.

"He's the best friend of Ruby's new boyfriend. Did you finish everything you wanted to do?" She asked quickly, wanting to change the subject as soon as possible.

"Yeah I did." His voice was cold and suddenly distant.

_Was he jealous?_

She knew that what he saw may seem as they were flirting, but he had to know that Killian meant nothing to him she tried to reasoned. A voice at the back of her head kept reminder that she still did felt somewhat giddy and nervous as he did.

They finally reached her friends, Emma directly heading towards Ruby as she grabbed her by the elbow and walked a few feets away from their group.

"Why did you leave me alone with Jones?" She blurted out once they were out of earshot.

"What happened?" The brunette asked clearly worried that something major happened.

"He started to flirt with me big time and Neal arrived and saw it and then it was awkward as hell."

"I don't see the problem." Ruby replied with a perfect manicured eyebrow raised.

"He was flirting with me and Neal saw that, and now he's acting jealous!" Emma's voice raised as she was starting to lose patience.

"See it this way, maybe he'll pay more attention to you now that he saw an extremely hot guy flirt with you." With that said, her friend winked at her and left her side with a grin and went to join Victor.

Emma honestly didn't know what do think as she just stood there. She eventually managed to walk back to Neal as he was talking with David. She suddenly felt as if someone was watching her, and turned her head around as she scanned the room and noticed Killian staring at her from the bar. He took a sip of his drink as his eyes were fixed on her.

She needed a drink.

-/-

The supper was quite uneventful, Emma try to focus as much as she could on her boyfriend which proved to be hard since he was still giving her the cold shoulder. When everyone finished their plates, the waiters cleared the tables and then removed half of them which created an improvised dance floor. The music went from relax to more upbeat as the sound got a tad louder. A small group decided to start the ball and went to dance on the designated area.

Emma didn't feel like dancing, settling for hanging at the bar with Neal. The awkward silence that had emerged between them from the moment he arrived was getting even more uncomfortable as the evening went on. Despite the fact that things got better this last week, she still felt like there was something missing between them.

She glanced at Neal and noticed that he looked bored. His phone was glued to his hand, his thumb sliding on the screen as he feigned being interested by whatever he was looking at. His phone made a loud beep announcing him that he received a text message. He read the message from whoever that person was and then slid his phone back into the pockets of his pants and slid down from his stool.

"If you don't mind Emma, I'm gonna go. I've got a couple of friends from school that are hanging out at a sports bar not far from here. You wanna come?" Her eyebrows raised, her mouth parting slightly as she listened to what he was telling her.

"Come on. It's the engagement party of two of my closest friends." She told him quite irritated.

"I know, but they are your friends, not mine. And to be honest, this is boring as hell." Neal sighed when he noticed Emma's offended look. "Look I stayed for supper so my part is done. Stay if you want, I'm going. See you at home."

He gave her quick peck on the cheek and left. Emma was stunned and still couldn't believe what had just happened. She settled herself back on one of the stools and waited for the barman to come and take her order. She needed really a drink. When he arrived, she ordered a glass of whiskey and took a huge sip when he gave her her drink. She felt the liquid burn it's way down her throat, relishing on the burn it gave her. That's just what she needed.

"Trouble in paradise?" A voice next to her pulling her out of her thoughts. She looked to her side and saw Killian settling himself where Neal sat not too long ago.

"What gave you that idea?" She replied as she swirled her tumbler around, making the ice cubes in her drink clink together.

"Well, you are sitting alone with a drink in you hands and a bitter look. And I just saw you charming boyfriend leave the restaurant." He stated as he raised his hands to catch the barman's attention.

Emma gulped the rest of her drink and slammed the glass on the counter.

"Arent' you perceptive." Her voice came out bitter as she stared at the empty glass, not trusting herself on locking her eyes with his.

"Let's say that you're an open book." That got her to look at him.

"Oh really?" She raised her eyebrow challenging him. "Tell me, why am I upset?"

His eyes were locked on hers, detaching them for a second while he ordered a bottle of rum and two glasses.

"With the lovely dynamic you two portrayed tonight I'd say you guys have been having problems. Your boyfriend seemed bored and decided to go instead of spending the night with you. And with the look on your face, I'm going to guess that it's something that happens regularly.

His blue eyes bore into her, seeing right through her, leaving her agape with accuracy of his statement. She wanted to say something, anything, but no sound came out. Emma looked down defeated as the bottle of rum arrived. Killian poured the golden liquid in both of the glasses and then handed her one. He took his and raised it and waited for her to do the same.

"Don't let him get you down love. Let's enjoy the rest of the evening, we're suppose to be celebrating."

He than tapped his glass with hers and took a sip. She stared at him, still overwhelmed by what had happened and what he had said. He was right though, she couldn't let Neal get her down everytime he did something she disliked. Emma drank the content of her glass in one huge sip and then grabbed the bottle and refilled hers and Killian's tumbler.

"Okay. Let's celebrate." She told him as she tapped her glass with his.


	5. Chapter 5

Emma stayed at the bar with Killian by her side, the bottle of rum now half-empty. She realized that when he wasn't flirting, he was quite fun to be around. After taking one last sip of his glass, Killian's gaze went from his hands to her, with what she could perceive as an embarrassed look. Curious on why he was looking at her that way, she dropped her tumbler on her coaster and turned her head around so she could face him with one eyebrow raise.

"What is it Jones?"

He met her eyes, her stomach flipping over the moment she noticed how blue his eyes were despite the poor lighting. She swallowed har as he cleared his throat and shifted on his stool.

"I want to apologize for my attitude." Emma looked at him with a confuse look, Killian noticing the frown her eyebrows raised. "For the flirting. If I had known that you had a boyfriend I wouldn't have flirted that much." He cast her a bashful smile, and she would never had thought that he could manage to look so adorable.

"Really?" Emma laughed in response. "You would have stop flirting? Why do I doubt that?"

Killian looked at her with hurt look, his eyes follow one if his hand that his swirling his tumbler around.

"I would have. It's bad form to pursue a woman that her heart as been claimed." He justtified his eyes meeting her green ones one more time. Once again, Emma felt her body tingling with the way he was looking at her, the sincere and serious look that covered his eyes.

"So you're a gentleman now. That's good to know." She teased back with a playful smile wanting to push away those sensations and emotions that he was suddenly emerging out of her.

She was relieved when Killian replied with the same teasing tone as he told her that ' _he is always a gentlemen'_ his mouth curving into a smirk.

They looked at each other before they both burst out laughing until their cheeks hurt. They definitely drank too much rum. When they finally managed to calm down and that the muscles of her cheeks were now relaxed Emma looked at him, her hand going to rest on his forearm the action instantly grasping his attention.

"Don't apologize. Even if you're obnoxious, it's actually nice to have someone flirt with me, it makes me feel desirable. Neal doesn't show it to me anymore, I haven't felt desired by him in any shape or form in weeks now." Emma was surprised that she managed to tell Killian that, something that she never told Ruby or any other of her friends.

Finally saying those thoughts outloud made her heart ache as she realized how unhappy she was in her noticed from the corner of her eye, Killian biting his lower lip as he clenched his jaw. He took a deep breath before opening his mouth again.

"Well in that case, I'm not going to stop. You are brilliant, beautiful, amazing and funny and you should be reminded of it."

His stare was so intense and filled with emotions, that Emma felt as if she would burn as the previous sensations he had sparked in her resurfaced. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, she looked at her empty glass as she felt her mouth go dry and cheeks burn, this time definitely not the result of the effect of alcohol.

"You don't even know me." She managed to say, her voice small and for a second she wondered if he heard her. As he was about to respond, he got tapped on the back by Victor who came to stand between them.

"Jones, what are you doing here? Come join the party, we're sitting over there." He told him as he pointed at the table where Ruby, David and Mary Margaret were talking.

Emma felt relieve to find an escape to his conversation that was rising with tension and the complex emotions that were too intense for her to process at the moment. She got up and grabbed her glass and walked in the direction that Victor had pointer. She head Killian get up from his chair and followed her with his friend towards the table.

For the rest of the evening Emma avoided Killian, his last words still clouding her mind as it made her feel giddy and scared. She didn't know what all the emotions were, she barely knew the guy and she had also drank quite a lot, she rationalized. It will pass tomorrow as the alcohol in her system will fade.

When most of the guests have gone, their little group was the only one remaining, and when she avoided Killian's gaze once more and decided that it was maybe her time to leave. She got up and congratulated the couple one last time as she gave them a hug and said goodbye to the rest of them. Just as she was leaving the restaurant, she felt someone by her side and she turned around to see who it was.

"What are you doing Jones?" She asked quite happy that her voice came out indiferrent.

"I want to walk you home." His hands were in his pockets, a faint blush appearing on his stubbled cheeks.

"I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself." She didn't wait for his response and resumed her walk but was stopped with his hand resting on her wrist.

"I'm sure you can, but it's late and you had a lot to drink. It would be bad form to let you walk alone in this state."

She stared at him and saw nothing more than necessary trying to gauge his intention. When she only saw truth behind those eyes, she let out an exasperated sigh and muttered ' _fine'_ and they both walked in direction of her building.

Emma couldn't explain her sudden change of attitude but in her opinion they had spent too much time alone already and it got real and deep fast which scared her. She needed to run from whatever that was.

They walked in silence, Emma focusing on hearing the sound of her shoes hitting the pavement. When they finally reached her appartment complex she stopped and turned around to face him.

"Um...thank you." She said awkwardly as she tried to avoid any eye contact with those blue eyes of his. Emma turned around and started to climb the few stairs that led her to the entrance door when Killian's lilted voice stopped her.

"Did I say or do something to offend you?" His voice and expression worried.

"No, why?" She lied.

His hand left his side and want to scratch the back of his ear his head tilting a bit to the side as he looked at the asphalt quickly before resuming his previous stance. His eyes met hers, and felt her heart tightened when she saw his confused look.

"We were having a good time tonight and suddenly you are being distant and cold, bringing those walls of yours right up. There must have been something I said or did for you to act this way?" He told her his voice clearly upset.

Emma chewed the inside of her cheek as she went through the reason why she acted that away, silently answering his concern.

"Look, I'm tired and I want to sleep. Goodnight Jones."

She quickly turned around and closed the distance between her and the entrance door as fast as she could so he couldn't stop her again. Emma felt awful for leaving him like that but she couldn't just open up and tell him that he was making feel vulnerable.

As she entered her appartment, she took off her high heel shoes relieving her feet from the painful angle she had put them through the night. Emma decided to head to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water wanting to start nursing the upcoming hangover. She grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. Her back was pressed on the kitchen counter, lost in thought as she drank her water. She kept reminiscing her evening with Killian, and wondered why she felt so vulnerable around him, why did her stomach do that goddamn flip everytime his eyes seemed to understand so much, as if he had known her her whole life. She had an idea why but was too scared to admit it.

"Emma?" Neal's sleepy voice pulling her out of her thoughts. He appeared with his boxer and white T-shirt on as he stood in the kitchen doorframe,

"Did you just come back from the party?"

Emma nodded as didn't feel like talking.

"I texted you a couple of times. You never responded." He told her his voice laced with worry.

"My phone ran out of battery." She replied quickly and that's when she remembered that she left her bag with her clothes and her other things at Ruby's. She'll have to go back there tomorrow to retrieve her things.

"It was getting late and I was beginning to worry." He shifted from where he stood and started to walk towards her.

"Yeah well, it was my best friend's engagement party and I wanted to have fun celebrating with them. Mayve you wouldn't have had to worry if you just stayed." She spat back, too tired of pretending she was okay with the way he was acting. She left the spot on which she was standing and went to her bedroom as she slammed the door behind her.

The next morning she tried to open her eyes, the task very demanding as she felt her heart pounding in her head. She finally gained the courage to fully open her eyes as the light seeping through the curtains were blinding her. Emma sat at the edge of her bed and gulped down the content of her glass. When she finished drinking her water she got up and went to the bathroom and tried to make herself presentable.

When she finished cleaning herself she went to the kitchen where Neal was making breakfast. He heard the sound of her footsteps and turned around to face her with an apologetic smile on his face and what she could assume, the breakfast being his way of telling her sorry.

"Hey." He simply told her his hand still holding the spatula he used to scramble the eggs.

Emma didn't reply, only smiled which probably looked like thin line than a smile.

"I'm sorry. I was an ass last night and you are right, I should have stayed with you." Her eyebrows raised as she scoffed at his apology.

"Yes, you should have." Emma spat out as her hands went to rest on her hips. "Why were you so bored anyway? You like David and you usually don't have a problem hanging out with my friends."

Neal looked down at his feet as the rest of his body fidgeted lightly. When he finally managed to face her, he let out a deep sigh before answering her.

"You're right, I do like David he's a stand up guy and your friends are okay. But last night I was mad at you and kind of jealous."

"Why were you mad at me? And jealous?" Emma felt confused and it was too early to deal with this shit. She didn't even had a cup of coffee and her day was starting off with a fight (she's sensing) with her boyfriend.

"When I arrived at there last night you were talking to this guy who was clearly flirting with you and you seemed to enjoy it." He told her as he raised his voice, his emotions getting the better of him.

"Maybe I wouldn't enjoy it that much if you actually paid attention to me every once in a while." Emma vociferated finally telling him what had been eating her away these past weeks.

She let out a loud sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose as a headache started to appear.

"I really need to get my stuff I forgot at Ruby's. Let's talk later, okay?"

"Sure, whatever." He told her as closed the stove and grabbed the frying pan with the burned eggs and throwing them in the trash.

Emma left the kitchen and grabbed her red leather jacket and left her appartment. The cold breeze appeased the pain throbbing in her head, and helped her clear her thoughts. As she walked towards the _Red Wolf,_ she wondered if her life will ever be drama free, pain, sadness and anger the only emotions fueling her being lately and wondered what would happy could feel like. And suddenly, she remembered the last time she had a semblance of happiness her mind drifting to Killian as they shared a bottle of rum.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *not beta, so please ignore the mispells and mistakes

Emma knocked on Ruby’s door and took a step backwards as she waited for her friend to open the door. She heard the sound of her feet padding around her apartment, the sound getting louder as she approached the door. 

 

The door swifted open, revealing  Ruby in her pyjamas, her hair pulled back in a loose bun. 

 

“Hey Emma. What are you doing here?” She asked surprised, clearly not expecting to see her. 

 

“I left my bag here last night.” 

 

“Oh right! Um, come in.” Ruby looked a bit nervous and quickly glanced back into her apartment before letting Emma in.

 

“Is this a bad time? I can come back later if it is.” 

 

Ruby was about to answer but was cut off by a male voice coming out of the bathroom, one that Emma recognized. She wiggled her eyebrows at the brunette to which she returned with a smile as she rolled her eyes. 

 

“Babe, do you have a spare toothbrush I can borrow?” Yelled Victor as he came out of the bathroom wearing only a white towel wrapped around his hips. His steps faltered when he saw they had company and gave her a smile.

 

“Oh Emma. Didn’t know you were coming, if I did I would have covered myself a bit better.”

 

She chuckled awkwardly at his comment as she tried to cut the tension lingering in the air. Emma hadn’t thought that Victor would have spent the night over at Ruby’s.

 

“Look, I can come back later, and leave you two to whatever you guys were doing.” Emma said as she turned around and reached for the doorknob.

 

“Stay. We were about to have breakfast, I don’t mind having some extra company.” Said Victor as he looked at Ruby, who also agreed. 

 

Emma looked at her friend wanting to be sure she wasn’t imposing, the brunette giving her  a reassuring smile.

 

“Okay then. I’ll stay.”

 

“Great! In that case you can make your famous pancakes!” Chirped Ruby as she lead the way towards the kitchen while Emma huffed at her comment.

Entering the kitchen, she took her jacket off and draped it on a chair next to the small dining table. She then started to take the ingredients she would be needing for the pancakes and found her way through her friend’s pantry quite easily. It wasn’t the first time her friend baited her in making breakfast, which to be honest, she didn’t mind. 

 

Ruby was preparing some coffee while Victor went to her room to get dressed.

 

“So, did you have fun last night?” Her friend asked as she started to settle the table. Emma looked back at her friend for a moment as she pondered at her question. The memory of her and Killian talking at the bar and playful banter between them made her smile.

 

“Yeah, I really did.” Ruby came to stand next to her, her elbow nudging her sides playfully, a teasing grin on her face.

 

“Is that smile caused by thought of a certain British man with stunning blue eyes?” Emma felt herself blush to which Ruby smiled victoriously. 

 

“What makes you think that?” 

 

“Well, first of all your stupid boyfriend left the party early leaving alone. A handsome dark-haired man came to keep you company with which you drank more than half a bottle of rum. And from where I was standing you seemed like you were having a  lot  of fun.”

 

Emma looked at her friend with wide eyes, impressed on how Ruby saw and noticed all of those things. She wanted to say something to defend herself, not wanting her friend to have the last word, but she came out empty. The worst was that she was right, the reason she had so much fun the previous night was due to Killian and nobody else. 

 

She closed her mouth, and looked back down at the frying pan as she flipped the pancake. The tension that had settled between the two of them was torn as Victor waltzed into the kitchen, rubbing his hands together.

 

“Those pancakes smell good!” He cheered as he went to pour them some coffee, Emma eyeing her friend not to say anything to which she answered with a quick nod. 

 

They spent the breakfast talking about a little of everything while they ate. Emma finally got the chance to get to know Victor, since she didn’t get that chance the night before due to various distractions. She learned that Victor just finished studying medicine, and that he was now starting an internship at the Storybrooke’s General Hospital. Victor then went on talking about England, telling them that he used to visit the family he had over there every summer since the moment he was just a little kid. That’s how he had met Killian, he was his aunt’s and uncle’s neighbor, and they had become friends instantly since the first time they had met when they were only 7 years old.

 

The moment that his name was mentioned, Emma felt her cheeks flush and felt Ruby looking at her from the corner of her eye, Victor oblivious of the glances that the girls were giving to each other.

 

“You know he likes you a lot.” Said Victor as he took a mouthful of the pancakes into his mouth.  

 

“Who? Killian?” Emma asked surprise. She wasn’t surprise that Killian might like her, she actually had a feeling but wasn’t sure, she was more surprise by Victor’s change of conversation.

 

Victor hummed as he nodded, chewing the last piece of his food before opening his mouth to add something.

 

“Yeah. I can tell by the way he looked at you last night. I haven’t seen that look on him in a long time, well ever since his last girlfriend really.” He dropped his fork on his plate, and leaned back clearly sated. “I can tell by the way you’re looking at me that you don’t believe me. I know he flirts a lot, but it’s all an act, trust me.”

 

Emma was speechless, not expecting to have all this information about Killian this early in the day. She stared at her cup of coffee instead of speaking, her fingers playing with the handle of her mug as she lost herself in her own thoughts. 

 

She knew that he was somewhat attracted to her with the way he shamelessly flirted with her, but like her? He didn’t really know her (even though she felt that his eyes were sometimes a bit too knowing), or even known her long enough to actually have some feelings for her. Granted, he was very nice and sweet the night before, especially since he comforted her after Neal left, but that doesn’t mean he cares for her, it’s only his good form principles that led him to her. 

 

Suddenly, Victor stood up from his chair, the action dragging her out of her thoughts, and thanked her for the delicious pancakes. He kissed Ruby on the lips before leaving the apartment since he needed to prepare his things for his internship that was beginning tomorrow.

 

The girls then got up and started to clear the table and made themselves some tea before heading to the couch. Emma pulled her legs under her as she propped one of her arms on the back of the couch so she could face Ruby, who mirrored her position. 

 

“I really like Victor. He seems to treat you well and I have to say that I have never seen you this smitten by someone.”

 

Ruby smiled back at her, clearly happy that her friend approved of her new boyfriend. Emma was glad that she had found someone that cared about her, that saw her as his whole world, but a part of her envied Ruby. She missed that feeling, the one of being so blindly in love that whenever she thought about Neal she felt those butterflies tickling her stomach and where she felt cherished as if she was his whole world.

 

“Well, now it’s your turn.” Ruby added as she took a sip of her tea.

 

“My turn to what?” 

 

“To be happy.” Emma was momentarily stunned by Ruby’s words. Her eyes quickly looked down to her lap, looking at her fingers that were fiddling with the handle of her mug. She didn’t know what to respond to her friend, since she was right. She wasn’t happy, she hadn’t been in a long time now, she doesn’t even remember the last time she was truly happy with Neal or just generally.

 

“Can I ask you a question?” Ruby’s question pulling her from her thoughts, to which she answered with a nod.

 

“Why are you still with Neal? I mean he clearly doesn’t make you happy, and he doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. He keeps making promises but never actually lives up to them and you always end up hurt and disappointed.

 

Emma let out a shaky breath as her friend finally voiced out loud and clear the fear that has been paralyzing her lately. She looked down at her hands, her fingers toying with the hem of her shirt as to help her soothe her nerves. Taking a deep breath, she straightened herself and looked back at her friend.

 

“I think that deep down I still love him. We’ve been together five years now, yes we’ve had our hard times and he’s not the perfect boyfriend but I can’t just toss away five years down the drain just like that. I think I owe it to him, to us to try and fix whatever is going on between us.”

 

“I understand and respect that, but do you think it’s normal that it’s always you who makes the efforts in your relationship. I mean, he acts like he doesn’t fully care about you and honestly, he takes you for granted. Don’t lose yourself trying to help him.”

 

Emma’s eyes started to prickle, hot tears blurring her vision as they slowly rolled down her cheeks. She knew that what Ruby had told her was true. If she was being honest with herself, it’s what she had been telling herself for the past weeks, but was afraid to fully admit to herself.

“I’m afraid.” She managed to say her voice hoarse. Ruby nudge herself closer to her, leaning forward as she wrapped her arms around her.

 

“I know you are, and it’s okay. But you can’t keep making yourself miserable for him.”

 

She wanted to be happy again, more than anything. Ruby was right, if she wanted to get there again she needed to do something about Neal, things between them really needed to change.

 

Later that afternoon, Emma finally managed to chase her tears away and went back home with the bag she went to retrieve over at Ruby’s. The walk back home was a blur, feeling numb after spending so much time crying on her friend’s shoulder. She was trying to get her thoughts straight since she knew that she needed to talk with Neal the moment she would arrived home. 

 

When she entered her apartment, she noticed that Neal was sitting on the couch watching TV. Emma dropped her bag in the hallway, shrugging her jacket off and taking her boot off before heading to the living room. Her heart was pounding loudly through her veins, her stomach clenching as she tried to take a deep breath as to prepare herself. 

 

She sat next to him, Neal not moving an inch when she did so. They watched TV in silence, not looking at each other, conscious that she was drawing out the inevitable discussion. After a minute of encouraging herself, she finally turned her head around to look at him and took a deep breath.

 

“We need to talk.”


	7. Chapter 7

 

Neal turned around to face Emma, a serious look in his eyes despite the fact that she said the four little words that were known as  the  words in a relationship. 

 

“You’re right, I think we do.” He grabbed the remote that was laying on his thigh and closed the TV as he then turned himself around so he could face her properly. 

 

A wave of anxiousness overcame her, as she stood frozen not knowing how to start. There was so many things that she wanted to say, but her thoughts were still a mess in her head. She was still confused on so many things, on either making things work or leave him. Emma decided to break the uncomfortable silence that was now dancing between the two of them and see where her thoughts would lead her during their talk.

 

“I’m not happy and to be honest, I haven’t been in a while now. I’m tired on on trying to make things work, it’s taking out all of the energy and I feel drained.” Emma took a small pause to exhale some air out of her lungs, feeling as if she’s inhaling all of the air around her but not expelling any of it.

 

“I feel as if you are only with me because we have been together for such a long time, but that deep down you don’t want me anymore.” Neal looked up at her, sadness written all over his eyes as he listened to what she was telling him. “I still love you, and I think that I always will but… I can’t keep going on like this. Something needs to change. I don’t know how or what exactly but it has to. Maybe if we found a way to be more honest with each other?” She asked as she felt her voice shake, her vision now blurry. 

 

Neal had drifted his gaze back to his hands which were playing anxiously with the remote control as she seemed to find the right words to say to her. 

 

“I’m not happy either you know.” He told her as he finally managed to open his mouth and to lock his gaze with hers. “You know going back to school isn’t easy. I’m always swamped and worried that I won’t make the deadlines. Some nights I can’t sleep properly, afraid that I’m not good enough for all of this. But there was always something keeping me going, and that was you. I kept telling myself that I was doing this for you, for us. That it would eventually allow us

to have what we always wanted. I know that I haven’t been handling the pressure all so well and that sometimes it took it out on you and I’m sorry. I have been feeling lately that I’m losing you and it scares me.” 

 

He paused for a moment and Emma could see that he was trying to gain the courage for what he was going to say next. 

 

“It’s not because I don’t want you because I do, but you’re not helping me.” He met her shocked gaze as he expected her to reply. She was so flabbergasted that she actually didn’t know what to respond to that, which he used as an opportunity to keep going.

“You asked me to pay more attention to you, to take care of you. I tried, maybe not the way you wanted but I tried. And the moment that something wasn’t how you wanted, you attack. It made me feel as if everything that I did was never good enough for you.”

 

Emma didn’t respond. 

 

What was she suppose to reply to that? Was she such an unconsidered bitch?

 

She did have a tendency to speak her mind when things weren’t the way she wanted them to be, and she knew that sometimes she needed to keep her mouth shut. It was one of the reasons that so many foster homes didn’t want to keep her. Who wanted a kid who talked back to them? No one. Perhaps that was why Neal couldn’t take it anymore leading him to act the way he have been lately, because he felt unappreciated. 

 

This had become such a mess. Both of them felt rejected, unwanted and they kept asking the other to give more attention and affection to them when they weren’t even capable to do the same for the other. 

 

“Despite all of that, I still love you like crazy. But it’s how you said, I think we need to start being honest with each other.”

 

Suddenly, Emma felt her stomach tie into knot. The tone of his voice and how he had just told her how he loved her, gave her a hint on where this was heading, tears burning her eyes as they started to roll down her cheekbones.

 

“I love you, but this,  us, is too much for me to handle. I think it’s better if we stop trying to force each other to stay together and make ourselves miserable.”

 

There it was.

 

Neal finally had the guts to say what both of them have been denying for so long now. Her heart ached as she felt it break into little pieces, the air impossible to get into her lungs as she tried to process his final words. 

 

She couldn’t believe it was happening again. The only thought in her mind now was that another person in her life proved to her that she wasn’t lovable, she was too much too handle. He was leaving her, another person was leaving her. The tears that earlier were only slowly rolling down the skin of her cheeks were now descending in a heavy flow. 

 

She felt her body freeze, her eyes staring the space in front of her, unable to look at him even though she senses that he was waiting for her to answer him something, anything. He shifted on his seat, and mumbled and ‘okay’ as he finally got up from the couch.

 

“I’ve already packed a bag, I’m going to stay at friend’s house in the time being. I’ll come back later this week to get the rest of my stuff.”

 

He awaited again for her to answer, and when she didn’t he sighed and kneeled in front of her, cupping her cheeks as his thumb tried to chase some of the tears away.

 

“We had some good times together you know, we had fun, we loved each other, but I think this is for the best.” With that said, he leaned in one last time as he pressed a chaste kiss on her lips. Her lips didn’t respond as they stayed in straight line. Even if she would have wanted to she doesn’t think she would have been able to kiss him back.

 

Emma heard him walk away and grab his bag, followed by the sound of the door being closed behind him. The moment he stepped out of the apartment, she felt her body shake as she sobbed. She doesn’t know how long she stayed that way, sitting on the couch, pouring out all of her sadness, but she eventually managed to grab her phone and sent two texts to two persons she needed.

 

Mary Margaret and Ruby didn’t waste time in knocking, they let themselves the moment they arrived at her place. Emma was laying on the couch with a pillow tucked in her arms, eyes swollen and red. They pulled her in a sitting position, her friends now sitting on each side of her. Overwhelmed by the presence and the caring touch of her friends, she started to cry again with as much force as she did earlier.

 

“What happened?” Finally asked Mary Margaret as one of her hands were caressing her back.

 

“Neal left.” She whispered.

 


	8. Chapter 8

  
  


Two weeks passed by since Neal decided to end their relationship. For the first time since they were together, she had asked for the both of them to be honest about their feelings instead of arguing, Emma willing to give them another try. Apparently, Neal had other thoughts on the situation, as it was, according to him, too much to handle. Even if she had her doubts of staying with him, being dumped still hurt like hell.

 

The days that followed their breakup, Emma buried herself in work doing some overtime, taking any extra cases coming her way, anything that could keep her from thinking about her life and from distracting her from feeling miserable and abandoned. The fact that she managed to stay late each day at work was perfect. Neal had texted her one day informing her that he was going to come and pack the rest of his things and since she was keeping busy with some new cases, she didn’t have to see him. 

 

When she went home that night, she took a deep breath as she entered her apartment that was now entirely hers. She felt her vision go blurry when she saw that his things were missing. Her closet, drawer, cupboards and bookcase now half empty. Not able to hold those tears anymore, Emma let her sadness invade her as she fell asleep on her couch. After that night, she made sure to come home late and exhausted from work so that she couldn’t even let her mind drift to what was her personal life at the moment and head straight to bed.

 

Thursday came around, Emma still planned on staying late. She got up from her desk and walk down the corridor that led her to her superior’s office to ask him if he had a new case that she could work on or at least if he had some paperwork that she could help with. Once she arrived at his door, she knocked firmly as he told her to  ‘come in’ . She peaked inside his office, and saw Graham eyes fixed on his computer as he continued typing whatever it was he was working on.

 

“Hey Graham.” She greeted him as she walked in further into his office. “I was wondering if there’s something that I could do to help.”

 

He tore his eyes from his work and looked at her with a concerned look. He seemed to be thinking for a moment as his eyebrows were furrowed and a finger tapping on his desk.

 

“Thank you for your offer Emma, but not today.” He finally told her. Emma smiled at her boss despite her disappointment.

 

“Okay, well I’m going to see is someone else might need some help.” She thought out loud as she turned her heels around and started to make her way out of his office but was interrupted by Graham.

 

“Emma, please wait.” She turned around and walked back to her previous spot, while her boss was now standing up from his chair.

 

“Sit down, I would like to talk to you.” He told her as he gestured the empty chair in front of his desk. Emma did as she was told and sat down, and felt herself get a little nervous and worried wondering if she did something wrong.

 

“Is everything okay?” He asked the moment he resumed his place on his chair, his question startling her for a moment.

 

“Yes.” Graham’s eyes inspected her, not at all convinced of her answer.

 

“Are you sure? You’ve been doing a lot of extra work these past two weeks, you are pushing yourself to your limit. I don’t want to be rude or anything, but you look like hell. If you go on like this, you are going to wear yourself out. So out with it.”

 

Emma didn’t know what to answer, her mouth agape. She had stayed at work to escape her problems so she wouldn’t deal with him right away and now Graham was pushing her to face them. It was the last thing she wanted to talk about but felt pressured by the intense worrying gaze Graham was giving her, pleading her to tell him what was going on.

 

“Neal and I broke up.” She finally said.

 

“Oh. I’m sorry Emma.” She knew that his apology was sincere, he always was. There was a long pause as Graham tried to figure out what to do and say.

 

“I understand that you’re hurting right now but you can’t run from this forever. You are going to have to deal with it sooner or later.”

 

“I know I will have too, right now I just can’t.” He gave her a sympathetic smile, followed by a small shake of his head.

 

“But you can’t stay here and work yourself to death, I can’t let you do that. Go home and I’m giving you tomorrow off.” Emma’s eyes widen at the news, panic invading her.

 

“What? No, please Graham I’m fine. I don’t mind working late.” She told him as she got up and followed him as he walked toward the door. “Please, I need this.” She pleaded, she really wasn’t ready to face the mess that was her life right now.

 

“I’m sorry, but this is for your own good. Call a friend, go have a drink, anything else would be better than staying at work until you can’t manage to keep your eyes open. See you on Monday.” 

 

Emma walked out of his office still not believing what just happened. She felt defeated and completely at lost on what to do now, she really didn’t want to go home. Before leaving the office she texted Ruby (who already had plans with Victor), then Mary Margaret and David (they were swamped with their wedding plans). She walked from work not really knowing where she was going, deciding to let her feets guide her. Without even noticing it, she was standing in front of The Rabbit Hole and thought that a drink may be a good idea.

 

She entered the bar and instantly walked towards the counter and sat in on a free stool and ordered herself a whiskey. As she waited for her drink, her eyes scanned the bar noticing that there wasn’t a lot of people, granted it was still early. Her eyes were still wandering around the place when she noticed that the back door opened and a familiar face came out from the back.

 

Killian’s gaze landed on her, a grin plastered on his face as he walked in her direction and stopping when he was in front of her. Emma was suddenly overwhelmed by his presence as she could smell the manly scent that emanated from him causing her belly to tickle. For a moment she wondered what he was doing there but was quickly reminded that he works here. 

 

“Hello love, what brings you here?” He asked with broad smile, clearly happy on seeing her there.

 

“I came for a drink.” She simply replied as she took her drink that was now in front of her. Killian dragged the stool next to her and sat on it.

 

“You don’t need to find an excuse to come and see me love.” He teased her with one of his usual smirks which made her roll her eyes at him.

 

“Don’t flatter yourself Jones, I forgot that you worked here. And by the way, aren’t you supposed to be behind the counter giving me my drinks?” She asked him as she turned her upper body around so she could face him properly, her left forearm resting on the counter.

 

“I was, but it’s a slow night so they didn’t need me to stay until the end of my shift.” 

 

“You must be happy to have the night for yourself then.”

 

“I am, one of my mates is playing in another bar tonight and now I’ll have the chance to watch his band play. Want to join me?” He asked her nervously, at least that’s what she thought.

 

Emma was a bit surprised by his offer, and it was tempting. She could go with him, have a few drinks, listen to some live music, probably meet some new people, it would be everything she needed to keep her from thinking about Neal. But yet, she felt anxious on going out alone with Killian, the same unexplained feeling creeping inside her whenever she was near him, telling her that it was a bad idea (or a very good one).

 

“Sure. I can come.” She didn’t miss how his eyes seemed to spark the moment she accepted his invitation.

 

“Your boyfriend isn’t going to be upset if you go out with another man, giving his reaction the last time?” He asked a bit uneasy.

 

Emma’s breathing hitched at the mention of her ex, and was debating with herself for a short moment, wondering if she should tell him or not. 

 

“Don’t worry about it, he won’t mind.” She drank the rest of her drink in one gulp and slammed the tumbler on the counter as she got up. “Let’s go.”

 

They walked a couple blocks, occasionally filling the awkward silence between them with some small talk. They arrived in front of this building that was supposedly where Killian’s friend was playing, but Emma could only describe it as shady. A few people were standing outside near the entrance door as they were smoking their cigarettes. Killian guided her to through the door with a hand on the small of her back..

 

The moment they stepped inside, they went through the coat check where a pink haired girl was standing behind a counter with some coat hangers. Emma gave her coat to the girl and as she was taking off her scarf she felt her earlobe being tugged, the soft yarn tangled in her earrings. She attempted to disentangled herself but proved to be difficult not seeing where it was stuck.

 

“Here, let me.” Killian told her as his fingers were already working on setting her earring free from her scarf. 

 

Emma’s body was on high alert as he invaded her space, his face leaned in so close that she could feel his breath fan out on her neck, his calloused fingertips grazing the skin of her ear. A shiver ran down her spine as she felt her breathing grew shallow. When he succeeded, his gaze went from her ear to her eyes, both standing still for a moment as she felt the tension between build higher and higher. Emma cleared her throat, the sound startling both of them and quickly looked away as she went to put her scarf in her jacket. 

 

“What kind of music does your friend play?” She asked, needing to change the vibe that had settled between them. 

 

Killian took a few step back as his hand went to scratch the back of his ear. 

 

“Rock music. They perform some of their own compositions and mix it up with some covers.” He looked back at her with an expectant face as he extended his arm towards the corridor that would lead them to the bar. “Shall we?”

 

She nodded and started to walk in the direction he had shown her, Killian right behind her. When they reached the bar, she noticed how big the space was and how it was already crowded. The space in front of the scene was packed, people eagerly waiting for the show to start. As she looked around, Emma didn’t notice Killian leave her side and returning promptly with a beer in each hands as he then handed her one. 

 

His free hand went to the small of her back, and slowly guided her through the crowd so they could have a decent view of the stage. They drank their beer in silence as they waited for the show to start.

 

Four guys suddenly appeared on the stage and each went in different direction as they grabbe their instruments. A light brown haired men with a scruff, which she assumed was the front man, greeted the crowd as they cheered them on. The sound of guitar strings being plucked followed by the rhythmic  sound of the drums and bass invaded the bar and the people standing next to them started to dance. 

 

The music was good and Emma couldn’t help herself to lightly shake her head and move her hips as she followed the beat of the songs. Forty-five minutes later, the band took a break and she took the opportunity to use the bathroom while Killian went to the bar and grab them another a round.

 

Emma walked towards the back where there was neon sign indicating the women’s bathroom. Her sight was overwhelmed by the amount of graffiti covering the walls, empty beer bottles circling the sink. 

 

When she finished washing her hands, she walked out of the restroom and tried to spot Killian near the front scene, her feet leading her towards him when she saw him waiting for her with two beers in hand. 

 

As she made her way through the crowd, the sound of a familiar laugh crept up to her ear,  shiver running down her spine as she realized to whom it belonged. Emma glanced around, her eyes wide in slight panic when she finally saw him. 

 

Neal.

 

He was leaning on the wall, his mouth hovering the ear of a brunette with heavy make-up and a tight tiny red dress. His fingers were gently running through her long hair, a flirting smile curving his lips. Emma felt frozen, feeling as if she just received a punch to the gut and a slap  on the face all the same time. She wanted to look away, but seemed physically unable to  even though she felt the need to hurl. 

 

“Swan, there you are. I was starting to get worried here, thinking you might have gotten yourself lost.” Killian stopped abruptly when he saw the look on her face, worried lines creasing his forehead. “Are you okay?” He asked concerned as he took a step closer towards her.

 

“I...uh...yeah. I’m fine.” She blinked a couple of times and turned her head around to look at him. “Thanks for tonight, but I’m gonna head home.” She blurted out as she heard Neal’s laugh once again, the sound making her want to run the hell out of here. 

 

Emma didn’t let Killian some time to tell her goodbye, and walked towards the coat check to grab her coat. She didn’t waste time on putting on her coat and almost ran through the exit door, gasping for air as she felt the anxiousness swelling inside her. 

 

Her hands dropped to her knees as she tried to gain control on her labored breathing. The door creaked followed by the sound of footsteps faltering when they reached her. 

 

“What the bloody hell happened in there?” Killian asked her as she could see from the corner of her eye that he wanted to stroke her back but decided not to. 

 

She finally managed to breathe somewhat normally and straightened herself, her wary eyes locking with his worried ones. “Nothing.” She mumbled, quite certain that he didn’t believe her with the look he was giving her. 

 

He closed the space between them, his eyes searching hers, trying to find what got her to panic that way. “That was not nothing. Something happened, you can tell me.”

 

She stood completely still even though there was a storm raging inside her, wondering if she could trust him. A part of her, the rational part told her that she couldn’t, but the part that was led by her heart, her gut feeling was screaming yes. 

 

“I saw my boyfriend.” She could feel the lump in the back of her throat, making her voice strained and small. “Well, actually my  ex -boyfriend.”

 

It took him a moment to understand the implication of his statement, realization hitting him as he looked at her with a look that told her that he wasn’t pitying her, which she was grateful.

 

“Fuck.” He murmured as he took a deep breath. His hands went to her shoulders, squeezing them reassuredly. “I’m sorry. I really am.” 

 

His arms circled her body as he hugged her in a comforting way. Her hands went to his back as she gripped his a fistful of the fabric of his leather jacket, needing something to hold as she let tears roll down her cheeks. Emma’s face went to hide in the crook of neck, crying silently while his hand went to gently caress her hair. They stood that way for awhile until she managed to calm down. 

 

“Do you want me to take you home?” He whispered in her ear, to which she nodded.

  
When they finally managed to untangle themselves from the embrace, Killian took her hand, as he lead her towards her apartment. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much tcl4369 for your review! It really made my day reading it!!  
> Hope you all like this chapter!!

The walk to her apartment was quiet and Emma appreciated more than ever Killian’s comforting presence. He asked her only once if she wanted to talk about her break-up with Neal, and when she refused he let go of the subject respecting her wishes.

Emma had been so caught up with what she had saw earlier at the bar that she didn’t realized that Killian was holding her hand, her body going stiff when she had noticed. He must have sensed the change in her demeanor because he quickly glanced at her before letting go of her hand. Her hand felt cold now that she had lost the warmth of his hand, and so she tucked her hand in the front pocket of her coat. 

When they arrived at her building, their steps faltered until they both came to a stop and turned so they could face each other, the tension between them now high. Emma didn’t know what to tell him besides ‘thank you’. He may not know but she felt as if he deserved more than those two words with what had happened tonight, he had been his saviour, his knight in shining armor in a sense. 

The thought of going back to her place alone was an unappealing concept since she already knew what was going to happen, she would ruminate until she start self-deprecated leading towards a vicious circle of self-hatred. She already done that lately, she could deal a night without it.

She was still deep in thought as she asked herself what to do when Killian cleared his throat.

“So…” He started clearly not knowing what to say himself as he scratched the back of his ear. “I guess this is goodnight.” 

He gave her one of his boyish smile which she found endearing and couldn’t help herself from smiling back as she nodded her head.

“Thank you for tonight, and for walking me home.” 

A cocky grin now replaced that shy smile as he raised an eyebrow, his demeanor now a tad more relaxed and confident.

“Well love, I did once tell you I was gentleman, didn’t I?”

“Yeah you did.” She replied as she couldn’t stifle the light chuckle that rumbled through her throat.

Killian shifted as he opened his mouth, probably to bid her goodnight once again, but before he could, the next words that came out of her mouth were completely unexpected for her and apparently him as she based on his reaction.

“Do you want to come inside for a drink?” She blurted out, as she felt her heart pound faster, making her blood race through her veins as it made her cheeks turn red realizing what she just asked.

Killian seemed to be as equally startled, his eyes widening for a brief moment, closing his mouth that had parted slightly.

“If the lady insist.” His voice came out a bit hoarse, his comment making her eyes roll as she hid her smile, turning herself around and walking inside of her building, Killian just a few steps back.

The moment they entered her place, she told him to make himself at home while she went to grab two glasses and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s she kept on the cupboard on top of her fridge. When she entered her living room, Killian was standing in front of her bookshelf as he was perusing through her books and DVD collection. 

“You’ve got quite the collection here Swan.” He told her not even turning around as if he had sensed her watching him. He finally turned around as she handed him his drink.

“Well, after an exhausting day at work it’s always nice to watch a movie to help me unwind.”

Emma made a beeline to the couch and took a seat, Killian nodding at her comment before joining her. They stayed silent for a moment, both sipping their drinks as she tried to figure out how to get rid of the awkwardness between them. As usual, Killian beat her to the punch and was the first to open his mouth.

“Talking about work, you know what I do but I still don’t know what is yours?” 

“I’m a social worker, I work in this center downtown.”

“That’s amazing. I always admired people like you who has the guts to deal with such delicate situations.” Emma felt herself blush at his comment, her eyes fluttering for a brief moment before she managed to get ahold of herself. She didn’t understand why everything that slipped out of his mouth made her so overwhelmed.

“What kind of cases do you handled?” He asked as he took a sip of his whiskey, his eyes locked with hers, and she could see that he was genuinely interested about her work and wasn’t being only polite.

“I primarily work with young children and teenagers. Some of them have been through really difficult things, which they should never deal to begin with, losing their innocence way too young.”

“Like what, if it’s not too much to ask.”

“Well, some of them are abandoned and some abused in every kind of way possible.” She answered briefly, not wanting to get into too much detail. Somehow she was afraid that this man who could read her so easily would put two and two together and sense that some of those things happened to her. 

Killian stared at her intensely as he was trying to read her which made her nervous and exposed. Emma cursed herself thinking that she might have already said too much. 

“What made you choose that profession?” He asked once more as he moved his glass back to his lips while his eyes never left hers. 

Fuck.

That was the question that she hoped he didn’t ask, the one that would reveal her past if she decided to be honest. But then, she could still lie to him. Knowing Killian he might just know that she’s hiding the truth and would push her to tell him the real reason. Or would he? He didn’t seem like others who would push her to be honest. She suddenly had this feeling that maybe he would just let it slide and understand that she’s not ready. 

She took another sip of her drink to buy her some time as she still mulled over her options, when she decided to go for half of the truth. 

“I didn’t have the easiest childhood. I was abandoned, rejected, unwanted for the most part of my life. If I haven’t met Ruby in high school I don’t know where I would be now. I found someone who helped me get through some rough shit and I’m grateful of that. So, I told myself growing up that if I could help, even just a little, the life of those kids and help me regain a little faith, it would be a start for a better life for them. Hopefully.”

She didn't tell him the whole story, just the main reason why she chooses that work. Emma still felt as if she was on display and took another sip of her drink to help her with her nerves.

"I think that what you do is pretty amazing especially considering why you decided to do that. I know what it is to lose faith and I know that I could have used some guidance when a was a lad." Killian confessed as she locked her eyes with his.

There was something behind those sparkling blue eyes, something that resembles a lot as genuine understanding and she knew that what he just told her was nothing but the truth. It made her feel as if she wasn't alone, as if he knew how wounded she was and that he was similarly as wounded as her. 

Emma's breathing picked up when she noticed how close they were sitting. Her chest was now heaving, when she leaned just a bit, overwhelmed by his him and his revelation. Their knees touched, the contact sending a jolt of electricity through her body giving her the push that she needed to do the one thing she wanted to do but that she was afraid to do. 

Before she could think more of it, his lips were pressed on hers. Emma held her breath for a moment forgetting completely how to breathe properly. They both stayed still until she finally responded to the kiss as she tilted her head to the side, her tongue caressing his bottom lip. His hands instantly went to cup her cheeks, as they let each other taste one another. As the kiss grew needy, she grasped the front of his shirt, needing something to hold on to and to have him closer as he lit a fire inside her that she never felt burn this intensely. 

They both detached their lips as they gasped for air, forehead pressed together as she licked her lips wanting the taste to linger on her tongue a while longer. Emma was tempted on capturing his soft pink lips once more, but reason invaded her mind, panic not far away. 

“That was…” Killian’s voice came out a tad rough, his chest still heaving.

“...a one time thing.” 

She released the hold she had on him the moment the words slipped out of her mouth and got up as she tried to put as much distance between, fearing that she won’t be able to stop herself if she stayed too close. The pull that she had towards him in this moment was confusing and it was something that she wasn’t ready to comprehend. 

His eyes followed her movements as he gave a look that she could only describe as puppy look. It broke her heart seeing him like this but it was for the best.

“I think it would be better if you’d leave now.” She avoided to look at him as she went to grab his jacket that was draped on the back of her couch and handed to him. Killian got up but made no move to take his coat. 

“I don’t…” He baffled but she didn’t let him time to finish his thought.

“Please.” She begged him. 

Killian sighed in defeat and finally grabbed his jacket and walked towards her door. His hand went for the doorknob and he let his hand rest there as he turned his head over his shoulder to look at her one last time.

“Goodnight Emma.” 

He opened the door, and all of sudden she was alone. She slumped back on the couch, as she let her elbows rest on her knees, head in her hands as she wondered what the fuck happened.

####    
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for the delay, I've been terribly busy and I decided to start getting in shape again, so my time is divided with work, family and now the gym. And of course I had problems writing anything! ANYWAYS! This chapter is longer than the others and I really hope you like it!
> 
> p.s.: what did you guys think of the finale...I died at every cs moment...repeatedly!

Killian walked out of Emma’s building still trying to figure out what the bloody hell happened. He didn’t quite understand why she reacted that way when he was kissing her, as if she realized after a moment that she was kissing him.

 

Everything was going well, they were talking as he felt a wave of pride course through him as she started to open herself to him. She was talking about her childhood and it pained him to realize that he could relate to some of it all too well. She clearly have been wounded badly, it would explain why she was now so guarded and why he could read her so well. 

 

As he walked back to the bar, Killian couldn’t stop his mind of thinking of her, remembering of the first time he saw Emma in the coffee shop. The moment he set his eyes on her, he was entranced by her beauty as if he was sure that he had never encountered a woman as beautiful as her. Despite her beauty, he loved the fact that she wasn’t like the other women he usually met, the ones that instantly fell at his feet. Emma was no ordinary woman as she instantly chastised him for cutting the line and quipped back at him. He couldn’t help himself but to flirt with her and to get a rise out of her, she was gorgeous and feisty.

 

When he discovered that she had a boyfriend a couple of weeks later, he decided to back down, he wasn’t the type of man to pursue a woman that was already taken, even if she was all he could think about. He noticed at the engagement party how Neal acted with her and took notice of how unhappy and sad she looked, as if she was self-conscious around him. Killian didn’t like to see her so wart and was saddened and angry when he saw her devastated as she sat alone at the bar when Neal left to hang out with his own friends at another bar. 

 

He had decided to go talk to her, to try and cheer up which ended with both of them laughing as they shared a bottle of rum. Killian knew that she pretty and that her smile was radiant but he had come to realize that he loved that he was the one making Emma’s smile shine. He wished that he could be the one responsible for those expression of joys as often as he could. He knew he ruined that evening, even though he doesn’t fully understand why, when he told her that he wouldn’t stop flirting with her since she deserved to be reminded how wonderful she was if her boyfriend wasn’t doing it.

 

She retreated back, hiding herself behind those high walls that she had built. It was frustrating since everytime he thought he could see past those barriers, a tiny crack letting the light shine his way, she withdrew herself and patched that crack. 

 

Just like tonight. 

 

Emma had opened herself up to him, even if it wasn’t much he knew that coming from her that meant a lot. She had let herself indulge in a kiss, which led the sparks he always felt whenever he thought of her or when she was near her, ignite itself in a fire of lust and want. 

 

Killian still felt confused about the whole situation, about Emma. He decided to walk back to the bar where they were earlier that evening. Maybe hanging out with his mates will help him clear his head a bit. When he entered the building, he headed directly to the bar and ordered himself a beer as his eyes scanned the room in search of his friends. 

 

He spotted them sitting at their usual table and made its way over there when the bartender gave him his drink. 

 

“There they are, the Merry Men!” Killian greeted as he tapped the front man Robin on the back. 

 

The guys sitting around the table all raised their glass and yelled something that resembled an ‘hey’ as Killian grabbed a chair and sat on it. 

 

“Where have you been? I thought you were going to be here for the actual show?”

 

“I was, but I had some matters to attend to halfway through.” Killian answered evasively. 

 

“Does these matters have to do with a feisty blond?” Victor said as he appeared as of nowhere between Robin and Killian. 

 

His hand went to scratch the back of his ear, as he did each time he felt a tid uneasy. “Maybe.” He muttered as he shot a murderous glance at his Victor.

 

“Of course it had to be a woman. She must be special for you to miss our show.” Teased Robin, the back of his hand tapping Killian on the chest.

 

“Her name is Emma Swan, she’s Ruby’s best friend and this guy has it bad for her.” Victor divulge as one hand gestured Killian while the other was moving his pint towards his lips. Killian internally groaned, he wanted to have an evening to clear his head about her and now they were shoving her name right back in his face.

 

He tried to explain his situation with Emma, to make it look as if it was just another a girl (which she wasn’t) but the guys didn’t let him, as they all started to make their own little jokes about him being enamored with yet another woman. Deciding that it wasn’t worth to exhaust himself trying to explain, he just drank his beer and waited for the whole thing to simmer down. Thankfully, it didn’t take long.

 

A few rounds of beer later, Robin challenged Kilian to a game of foosball, which he won as per usual while Robin cursed under his breath. The night went on and the guys slowly left the bar until there was only Victor, Robin and Killian sitting around the table with a newly ordered pitcher.

 

“So tell us Killian, is it true that you have fallen for that Swan girl?”

 

Killian internally groaned when his friend decided to bring back the subject and realized that there was no escape.

 

“Perhaps.” He vaguely answered. He felt the gaze of his friends on him. Lifting his eyes up he noticed that they were both looking at him, wanting him to elaborate.  

 

Killian sighed while his fingers kept drumming on the table, his eyes fixed on the table. 

 

“I do like her, a lot actually. The thing is, is that she’s a difficult woman to approach since she constantly has her guards up.”

 

“Do you want to give up?” Robin asked while Killian took a sip of his beer as a sigh escaped his lips once again.

 

“No. I really want to see where this could lead, even if its only a friendship that blossoms from it.” Killian didn’t want to go into details, about Neal and about the kissing that occurred earlier that evening. 

 

“Well, I think that I speak for both of us,” started Robin as his gaze shifted towards Victor, “when I say that we are happy that you are finally moving on from Milah. I know that the last couple of years haven’t been easy to put behind you, but it’s good to see that you are trying to be happy again.” 

 

The mention of Milah’s name, made his heart ache making it difficult to breath. The pain of her loss was still fresh even after two years. But one thing that he tried to keep in mind, was that Emma did make him want to move on. He was still at loss on how to do it, but he knows that with Emma, it was better to take things slow and work and bringing down those walls down. Perhaps after tonight, it was better to leave her be and let her straightened her thoughts and emotions before pursuing her. 

 

-/-

Emma woke up that morning on her couch with the television still on. After what happened with Killian the night before, she couldn’t seem to shut her brain out after everything that happened at the bar and then in her own place. She had decided to watch TV until exhaustion and apparently it had worked. But now that she was awake, she couldn’t help the thoughts that came flooding back to the front of her mind.

 

She didn’t expect to see Neal at the show and especially not flirting with another girl. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t deny that seeing him there like that hurt her, making her wonder if she was so easy to get over from? Did he even really loved her?

 

Emma was torn, she felt betrayed but at the same time, they weren’t together anymore so how could she? He could do whatever he wanted and she had no say in it, like Neal would have no say in the fact that she kissed Killian. 

 

At the thought of Killian, she closed her eyes and rubbed her eyelids as she instantly replaced any memory of her ex by the image of the British who waltzed in her life. She still doesn’t know what pushed her to kiss him, maybe there was a part of her that wonder from the first time she saw him at that coffee shop how his lips would feel on hers. One thing was for sure, that man could kiss. Just thinking about it, made her toes curl and fill her stomach with butterfly, wanting to taste his lips once more. 

 

For the first time since Neal left, she had felt good, Killian made her feel good. They had bonded over the engagement party, but not like last night. She had shared things with him that she doesn’t usually share, but the way he had looked at her, his eyes so blue locked on hers and she could see how honest he was. He genuinely seemed to understand, to know how it felt to be abandoned and maybe it’s because he was too. 

 

She didn’t kiss him just because he was attractive (that was an understatement), funny, and smart, but also because how he made her feel. As if what she thought and felt was important to him. 

 

Emma leaned back on the couch, her eyes now wide open as she looked at the ceiling. She couldn’t afford herself to feel something towards him, because that would lead her towards another heartbreak since how could a man as amazing as him could be interested in her. She wouldn’t be able to go through another heartbreak and be abandoned once more. 

 

She stood up from her couch and decided that she needed something to do, anything to forget these two men. Without even noticing it, she was cleaning her apartment which quickly escalated in her changing her furniture around her living room. When she was finally satisfied with the new look, she went to do the same with her bedroom. 

 

One thing led to another and Emma found herself at a hardware store buying some paint so she could also change the colors of her walls. Redecorating and painting her apartment kept her busy throughout Friday and Saturday, and she found that changing the way her place looked from how it looked when she was dating Neal, would maybe help her get a fresh start with her life. The music was loud and it didn’t take long for Emma to start dancing and singing whilst working on her project. It felt good to do something productive, to release the tension of the past few weeks, every strike of her brush wiping away all the memories of Neal.

 

Saturday evening, Emma was applying the second coat of light grey or more precisely  ‘Whispering Waterfalls’ , when her phone rang. She dropped the brush on the empty yogurt container she was using and then when to grab her phone.

 

“Hello.”

 

“Hey Emma!” Ruby greeted enthusiastically.

 

“Hey Ruby, someone’s in a good mood.”

 

“Always! But that’s not why I’m calling, are you free tomorrow morning?”

 

“I’ve got nothing, why?” Emma asked as she tucked her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she went to grab the brush to finish what she was doing.

 

“Mary Margaret wanted us to start shopping for the bridesmaid dresses and maybe we could go eat brunch beforehand.”

 

“Sure, no problem.” She answered when she realized that she’ll have something else to do to keep her mind distracted.

 

“Eleven at  Eggsquisite ?”

 

“That’s perfect, see you tomorrow.” Emma hung up the phone and returned to her initial task. 

 

The rest of her day went on uninterrupted and she managed to finish painting late that night. After cleaning up all of the tools she had used, Emma opened a few windows wanting to let the strong smell of acrylic out. She wanted nothing more than to go directly to bed since her body was completely spent, but when she noticed that she had some paint in her hair, and arms she mustered the energy to go take a quick shower. 

 

When her skin and hair was clean and dry, she slipped on a clean white tank top and a pair of panties and finally slipped under the covers. As she laid on her back, she felt her muscles relax and her eyelids go heavy as she quickly fell asleep.

 

-/-

 

The next day, Emma arrived earlier at the restaurant knowing that it was bound to be busy. The second she crossed the door, she saw Mary Margaret sitting at a table frantically waving at her. Of course she was going to be there before any of them showed up to saved them a place. 

 

Emma smiled at at her friend and waved back as she walked towards her. After they greeted each other with a hug, they both sat down and started to catch up with what was going on with their lives (mostly Mary Margaret’s) as they waited for Ruby to arrive, which was always fashionably late. When she finally arrived, they placed their orders and kept talking until their food arrived, well Mary Margaret did most of the talking. She kept telling them about the ideas her and David had come up for the theme of the wedding, the colors, the flowers, the guest list and so on.

 

When they finished eating, they paid their bills and walked towards the bridal shop that was a few blocks away. They entered the shop and Emma’s eyes widen when she noticed the colors of the place, there was way too much soft pink and white for her taste and smell of flowers invading her. 

 

Once Mary Margaret confirmed her reservation to the saleswoman, she led them to a room in which they could try on some dressed and the woman brought them some champagne. When the woman left them to themselves, Emma instantly went to grab the bottle and poured some champagne in each glass. If she wanted to get through this experience, she felt as if she would need some alcohol. 

 

She was happy to be Mary Margaret’s made of honour, but dealing with all of this wedding stuff wasn’t really her cup of tea. Emma sat down on the extremely white couch and took a sip of her drink while she and Ruby waited for the bride-to-be to show them the bridesmaid dresses that were previously handpicked.

 

Most of dresses were pretty but Ruby seemed to have a comment for each and everyone of them, the most recurrent comment being that they weren’t short enough while Emma nodded and smiled at her friend telling them they looked nice. They viewed at least a dozen of dresses until they settled for knee length red dress that accentuated their waist, with a low cut and wide shoulder straps. 

 

The dress was gorgeous and they knew it was the dress for the bridesmaid when they saw Ruby’s face and no criticizing comments. They were left alone in the room after the saleswoman took note of their sizes and went to check if she had their sizes. Ruby that was too excited to sit down during the time they were showing them dresses, finally decided to sit next to her as she refilled their glasses. She then shifted to look at Emma, a huge grin on her face that made her feel a tad nervous knowing very well what that smile meant.

 

“What?” Emma asked a bit abruptly feeling as if she was on display.

 

“Victor told me you hung out with Killian on Thursday.” She said with a proud smile and Emma couldn’t hide the blush that was creeping on her cheeks.

 

‘Why would he say that?” She groaned. Victor was really a match for Ruby if he too couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

 

“Victor went out on Thursday to go see one his friends band play and Killian was supposedly there but only came to join the guys after the show ended. Killian didn’t specifically say that he hung out with you but Victor deduced that he had by the he was acting.”

She could feel her heart beat faster as she remembered what happened that night, things that she had worked on forgetting throughout the weekend. Mary Margaret who was sitting on the other side of her watched the exchange and looked a bit confused. 

 

"Wait, isn't Killian the guy who was at my engagement party? The guy with who you drank half a bottle of rum with?"

 

Emma wanted to respond but only managed to stammer a few words. She ultimately resigned herself in defending and hiding whatever had happened and took a deep breath to get herself ready to divulge her encounter with Killian that night. 

 

“Yes.” She whispered as her friends both leaned forward to hear her better. “I did see Killian that night.”

 

“Is there something going on with you two?” Asked Mary Margaret with her usual concerned voice.

 

“No!” She answered quickly as she raised her voice a notch. She saw the disbelieving looks on her friends but they both decided to say nothing, which she was grateful.

 

“How did you end spending the evening with him?” Inquired Ruby while Emma’s shoulders slouched in a defeated manner, there was no getting out of this one. 

 

I went to his bar after work, not remembering that he worked there. When I got there, he had just finished his shift and he asked me if I wanted to come with to the show. I’ve been struggling ever since Neal left to be alone, everything reminding me of him so I said yes.

 

She lifted her eyes to look at her friends, both staring at her with an encouraging look. “During the interlude I went to the bathroom, and when I came out I saw Neal flirting with a girl. I was so upset that Killian offered to take me home. I eventually invited him up and we talked for a bit and then he left.” 

 

Her eyes stayed fixed on her hands who were fiddling with the hem of her shirt, not wanting her friends to notice that they hadn’t just talk,

 

“There’s something you’re not telling us.” Said Ruby as she squinted her eyes at her. “Don’t forget that we know you very well Emma Swan. Now spit it out.”

 

Emma looked at Ruby with pleading eyes but knew it was a lost cause. Her eyes went back to her hands as she muttered that she kissed him. She felt her face burn as she was definitely now all red.

 

Surprisingly, her friends stayed quiet. She felt Mary Margaret shift next to her, her hand now resting on her nervous hands.

 

“Did it mean something?”

 

“I don’t know.” Emma replied as she turned her head to look at her friend.

 

"Why did you kiss him then? Was it because of Neal?" 

 

Emma shrugged at Mary Margaret’s question, still not sure if it was because of her ex that she felt the need to kiss Killian or because she really wanted to. 

 

“I just...I was feeling good. We had been talking for a while and the way he looked at me and talked made me feel as if he really understood me.” Emma sighed as she shifting on her seat. “It felt good to have someone who genuinely wanted to be there for me.”

 

The girls stayed silent as they tried to understand what she was saying. Emma really wanted to be their discussion at an end, she had spent her week-end trying to forget what had happen that day, but never seem to do it as there was always something reminding her of it

 

“You know Emma,” Mary Margaret started as she broke the silence,”we are well aware that you tend to close yourself up from some emotions because you are afraid of where they might lead you. Even before Neal left, you seemed to be more closed off and miserable and that night at my engagement party, I never saw you laugh that way before, carefree and happy. Maybe you should eventually consider giving Killian a shot.” 

 

“I can’t. He  will  end up abandoning me like Neal did.” Her eyes were now burning, her vision now blurry.

 

Mary Margaret curled her arm around her as she pulled her in for a hug.

 

“He’s not Neal and you know it. Those walls of yours might keep out pain, but in the end, they’ll also keep out love.” Emma let out a shaky breath as she leaned her head on her friend shoulder, feeling exhausted and drained of this emotional rollercoaster. 

 

“Think about it okay?” Ruby asked as she joined the hug.

 

She spent the rest of today thinking about what her friends had told her. She realized that every time that Killian was around, she tended to smile and laugh more. That night at her place, he really did seem to care about her and he always seemed to be there when she needed someone. Maybe she could give him a shot. 

  
One day.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I’m so sorry for how long it took me to update this story. I really hope you’ll like this chapter (and I cannot wait to post the next one because holy crap it’s going to be good)! Once again whenever you see this [ -/- ], the point of view will change!

She shifted in her bed as she tried to find a comfortable position. Emma tucked a pillow between her arms when she heard her alarm clock ring, the sound pulling her out of her slumber. She opened her eyes and looked at the time, her eyes widening all of sudden when she saw that it was already 9:45.

 

Shit . Shit, shit,  shit!

 

David and Mary Margaret were going to be at her place in roughly ten minutes and she had just slept through the many alarms she had set on her phone. Emma jumped out of bed in a state of panic as she ran around her apartment in her pyjamas trying to gather everything that she might need during the long weekend. She hadn’t prepared her bag the night before as she told herself that she would have plenty of time in the morning to do it.

 

Ruby had had this great idea earlier that week for them to all ask their Friday off so they could go over at Victor’s family summer house to enjoy the niche hot weather that they had lately. Ruby kept saying how the place was amazing; plenty of rooms for them to stay, and the house was at the border of a lake. 

 

Emma had been looking forward to this weekend, to get out of the city for a little while. So much happened in her life in the past weeks and had been working so much that when she asked Graham for a day off, he was more than happy to give it to her. 

 

She was excited when Ruby told her that Mary Margaret and David would come, that feeling quickly being replaced by nervousness when she found out that Victor invited Killian. Emma hadn’t seen him over the past three weeks, the last time that she saw him was when they had kissed. She was still confused when it came to her feelings towards him and it scared her. One thing that she had managed to do was to admit to herself that she was attracted to him, but given everything that had happened she couldn’t let him in. Not yet. 

 

The break-up with Neal was still fresh and the pain that it caused her still lingered. The only thing that Emma needed was for the weekend to go well, make things clear with Killian so that he doesn’t get any ideas concerning them. At least she wouldn’t have to deal with him until she got there.

Emma finally finished packing her stuff; she had her bathingsuit, a towel, some clothes, hairbrush, toothbrush, and a book. She zipped her gym back, and went to her room to get dressed. It was a really hot day so Emma opted for a pair of jeans shorts, a grey tank top and her flip flops. The second she finished dressing up, her phone rang, and saw the picture of Mary Margaret on her screen.

 

“Hi.”

 

“We’re here. We are waiting for you in the car.” Her friend chirped.

 

“Okay, I’ll be right down!”

 

She hung up the phone, took her keys, her bag, and her purse and went out the door. Emma ran down the stairs and when she arrived outside she could see David waiting for her outside his car, back leaning on the back door. She greeted him slightly out of breath. David opened the trunk so he could drop her bags, and she went to sit in the backseat.

 

Victor’s summer cottage was an hour and half away from the city and so Mary Margaret decided to plug her iPod to the car sound system so they could entertain themselves with her usual summer playlist. Emma spent the first half hour catching up, talking about their upcoming wedding, which was only three months away already. After a while the three of them remained silent as they listened to the music.

 

When the song  Just like heaven from The Cure started playing, she couldn’t help herself but hum the melody as she closed her eyes savouring the wind that came bursting in through the window. Emma enjoyed the feel of the gust of wind on her skin, cooling her down in this unbearable heat. She was already feeling relaxed and was grateful for this extra day off, and was definitely looking forward to the rest of the weekend and enjoy her friends company. That is, until Mary Margaret decided to ask her about Killian.

“So, are you nervous?” asked Mary Margaret as she contorted herself from the passenger seat so she could look at her.

 

“Nervous about what?” She replied while turning her head from the window to her friend, with a confused look.

“About Killian?” 

 

“Why would she be nervous about him?” David looked at his fiancé briefly, completely clueless on Emma’s current situation with Killian.

 

“Haven’t you seen the way he acts around Emma? I mean he was completely infatuated by her at our engagement party.” said Mary Margaret to her fiancée as if she was stating the most obvious fact in the world. 

 

Emma his her face in her hands. She couldn't believe they were going to talk about this now. Mary Margaret really couldn't keep anything for herself.

 

“What? Did he make a pass at you?” David said in a protective voice, looking at her through the rear-view mirror with a look that said he was ready to kill.

 

“No he didn’t, I did. And it was a mistake. And no, I'm not nervous. Can we please drop the subject now?” Emma looked at her friends with a stern look and they both nodded.

 

They spent the rest of the drive in silence, as she hid behind her sunglasses now thinking on what she should say to him when they were going to arrive there. She still didn’t have a clue when David started to park the car in the entrance.

 

Emma decided that she should just stop worrying about it, and just see how things will go. Maybe he had already forgotten about what happened, and maybe it was for the best.

 

They got out of the car and a very excited Ruby came to greet them as she then dragged them inside leaving them no time to get their things from the trunk. They entered by the back entrance since it was closer to the parking space. The door led them into a small kitchen and a small bathroom.

 

Ruby stopped in front of the fridge, opened it, and they found it filled with beer bottles.

 

"So this is the beer fridge.” She said with huge smile.

 

“Were you afraid that we were going to miss alcohol this weekend?” Emma asked with a laugh.

 

“No, but we’re just taking precautions.” Ruby closed the door and started walking towards the door that led to the long hallway. Entering the corridor Emma could see three doors on the right and two on the left. They followed Ruby through it, and she stopped at the first closed door on the right and told us that that was Killian’s room.

 

At the mention of his name, she felt her stomach clench, and all of her bravado from earlier left and she only felt my nervousness course through her body.

 

Shit, he’s really here.

 

Emma looked away from the door and saw Ruby pointing to the door next to his. 

 

“So Emma, this is going to be your room...” She glared at Ruby and saw that her friend had this mischievous smile, the one that said that she had planned this room arrangement.

 

“And David and Mary Margaret this is going to be your room.” She said as she pointed to the last room on the right. Ruby’s room was facing the betrothed.

 

Emma looked around while Ruby showed the couple their room and saw that in front of her door, there was a big room with an L-shaped couch at the far end of it, with a big flat screen TV. There was also a big window with an amazing view of the lake and in the middle of the room, there was pool table. After assigning them their bedrooms for the weekend, Ruby resumed the tour of the house.

 

At the end of this long hallway where all the rooms are, there was the entrance on the right and a vast bathroom on the left. Next to the entrance was this immense kitchen with the dining room on the other side of it. Next to the kitchen door, there was the main living room, with another L-shaped couch, a wooden center table and a fireplace. Next to the couch there was a sliding glass door that showed the path to the deck, which had a gazebo on the right and a big green terrain.

 

Ruby dragged them outside, so they could greet the guys. 

 

“The guys went for a ride on the sea-doo earlier, I think they might be back.”

 

They followed Ruby to the docks, and scanned the horizon to see if they were nearby. They heard the sound of the motor and water splashing, and suddenly two forms appeared in front of them.

 

When the boys arrived at the dock, they turned off the engine and they stored the watercraft at his designated place. The guys then walked towards where they were standing to greet them, and Emma could see Killian taking off his yellow life jacket as he strolled.

 

She felt herself blush as she saw him only wearing his wet navy and white bathing suit, his torso bare exposing his chest hair that trailed down under his trunks, covering his lean muscles. Her mouth went dry and she wondered how she was going to survive this weekend.

 

“Hey guys! You finally made it!” said Victor opening his arms wide, his way of greeting their little group.

 

Mary Margaret went in for a hug and David shook his hand and his dark haired friend. Killian stood beside Victor, nodding his head towards them, simply saying hello.

 

Emma tried avoiding those damned blue eyes, but she couldn’t stop hers to get a glimpse at him, and she could sense that he was also trying to avoid looking at her.

 

-/-

 

She was finally here.

 

  After their last encounter Killian decided to give her some space and let her come to him, since she was clearly affected with what happened and had a lot to sort out.

 

It took every ounce of restraint he had not to seek her out and hoping she would.

After a week, he started to lose faith on that wish, and after the second week without any sign of her he lost all hope of her showing up, making the first steps.

 

He was hoping that their kiss meant something to her; if it did she was clearly afraid of its implications. Killian kept wondering if he should go and see her, talk to her, let her know that he haven’t forgotten about her, that he doesn't  intend on abandoning her like others have done so many times before, but something inside him kept him from doing so.

 

The fear that if he keeps insisting she will put back her walls higher, shutting herself from everybody.

 

Three weeks passed. Killian started thinking that maybe he was wasting his time on this lass, that she was clearly not interested. That same week, he went to have a drink with Victor and his girlfriend.

 

During the evening, Ruby asked him about Emma and his intentions towards her being the protective and caring friend that she was. Killian told her how he felt about her, his intentions and his doubts. She told him not to give up, that she was a tough nut to crack, but that she has a strong positive reaction to people who stand next to her no matter what happens.

 

That discussion gave Killian a little hope, and when Victor and Ruby invited him to his family summer house, he was more than happy to accept his invitation, knowing that Emma would be there.

 

  Now here she was, standing on the docks with her friends as they were waiting for them. She was even more beautiful that he remembered, her long wavy golden locks cascading on her shoulders, those long and beautiful creamy legs of hers that she was displaying with those jeans shorts.

 

As je walked towards her, he felt more and more anxious as to what he was going to say, how she was going to act around him. He greeted everybody with a quick nod, and looked at her and saw that she was avoiding looking at him which hurt even though he should have expected it.

 

  Everybody went inside, David, Mary Margaret and Emma went to get settled in their respective rooms. Victor, Ruby and Killian went to sit on the chairs that were on the deck with a beer in hand waiting for the others to join them. He heard the sliding door open behind him and turned around, and saw Emma pass through it.

 

She walked by him and went to sit on the chair next to Ruby, which was at the opposite side of him. He couldn’t stop from looking at her. 

 

Beautiful.

 

He was pulled out of his thoughts when the betrothed couple came to join them as they all started to plan their weekend.

 

“So, what do you guys want to eat tonight?” asked Mary Margaret.

 

“We can grill something on the barbecue.” Proposed Victor. Everybody agreed, and decided that the girls were going to the grocery shop buy some food for the weekend.

 

  After the girls left, Victor got up and went to check if they had enough gas for the barbecue. David and Killian stayed seated and drank their beer.

 

“So I heard that you kissed Emma.” Stated David. Killian turned to look at the fair-haired man, who was looking at him with a stern look.

 

“Even if I did, I don’t think it’s any of your concern, mate.” He replied with a tight smile.

 

“Actually it is. Emma is family to me and I would do anything to protect her from any harm. So, is it true?”

 

Killian stared at him for a little while before answering him, not knowing what brought this on.

 

“Yes. We did share a kiss. She initiated it and was the one to put a stop to it. ”

 

“What are your intentions towards her?” David continued his interrogation as he leaned forward resting his forearms on his knees, holding his beer with both hands his gaze locked on his.

 

“I have no intention on hurting her if that’s your concern. I like her a lot, and I don’t intend on giving up on her if that’s what preoccupies you. ”

 

“Good. I’m still keeping an eye on you.” He stated. David got up from his chair and walked towards the sliding doors. He stopped before entering, and shifted towards him. 

 

“Oh, and if you do hurt her, you will have to deal with me.”

 

After he entered the house, Killian leaned back on his chair, taking a long sip of his beer. He was glad to see that Emma had somebody in her life that would do anything to protect her. Even if she didn’t want him in her life, since he didn’t know how she felt towards him, at least she had her friends who will never give up on her.

 

-/-

 

Emma was glad that the girls decided to go to the grocery store while the guys stayed at the house. It gave her time to try and assess what she was going to do with Killian this weekend.

 

She talked with Ruby and Mary Margaret as they walked through the aisles, and they both told her the same thing, to just enjoy her weekend and let things run their course, and if something happens it will, and if it doesn’t, well it just doesn’t. More importantly, she should just do what she feels like doing and not pressure herself into something that she didn’t want to do.

 

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, and she didn’t have any time alone with Killian, which was probably for the best. When they arrived back at the house she tried to follow their advice and go with the flow.

 

Emma stayed inside, cutting some vegetables for a salad and Ruby was preparing one of her famous sangria. Mary Margaret went outside with David to set the table, and Victor and Killian were in charge of the meat.

 

  They ate outside, enjoying the warm weather, hearing the light waves of the lake that were caused by the gusts of wind, and they had the most beautiful sight in front them, the sun setting on the horizon.

 

The food was exquisite, and they stayed seated at the table long after they finished eating, enjoying their drinks. Emma couldn't help help from looking at him occasionally.

He was sitting at the other side of the table next to Victor, far from her. She caught him having a glimpse at her a couple of times and she gave him a small smile to which he responded with one of his own

.

As expected, Mary Margaret got tired of seeing all the dirty dishes lying on the table and decided to clean up. They helped her so the job could be done faster.

 

As they were cleaning up, it started to rain lightly, so they all decided to head inside and the guys went to play some pool. Emma stayed behind with Mary Margaret as they put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, since she didn’t want to wake up the next morning with a messy kitchen.

 

Ruby made another batch of her famous drink and went to join the guys.

 

“So how are you holding up? You know, with this Killian situation.” Asked her short-haired friend as she started cleaning the kitchen counter.

 

“Good. I mean I haven’t had time alone with him, and we barely talked to each other, so that helps.” Emma leaned back on the counter next to Mary Margaret.

 

“Well that’s a good start. You know, he can’t keep his eyes off of you.” She felt herself blush at her comment, remembering all the times she indeed caught him looking at her during dinner.

 

“Yeah, I know, I saw him glancing at me during supper.”

 

“I noticed, but I’m not only talking about supper, I mean everywhere you go, his eyes are following you. I think it’s sweet—the fact that he literally can’t keep his eyes off you. He really likes you.” She looked at her with this look full of hope, hoping that she will finally open herself to him. If only it was that easy. 

 

She knows that she meant it when she said that Emma should take her time to sort things out, but she could also see that she was hoping that she would do it soon. Emma shifted uncomfortably as Mary Margaret kept looking at her, waiting for her reaction. She did what she did best when she felt uncomfortable and deflected the subject.

 

“Anyways, let’s go join the others.” Emma walked out of the kitchen, with Mary Margaret behind her.

 

  The rest of the evening went by with no further discussion about Killian, and Emma still hadn’t had any time with him alone, which she was somewhat grateful. Emma tried not to look at him, knowing that she would catch him looking at her, and she didn’t want him to get any ideas.

 

They all played two games of pool, the teams being girls vs boys. The girl lost both times, since this game wasn’t part of any of their skills. When their second match finished, she felt my eyelids go heavy since she hadnt slept a lot lately and the fact that she was tipsy didn’t help.

 

Enma decided to say goodnight to everybody, and Ruby was pouting because she was going to bed way too early. After she promised her that she was going to stay up late the next night, she went to bed.

 

As she lay down on the bed, she stared at the ceiling and all Emma could think about was  him.

 

The longing gaze he gave her, the way he smiled when she caught him in the act, the way he looked in his bathing suit, his lean muscles covered by a good amount of chest hair as she wished to see where it led.

 

Emma couldn’t deny the attraction she felt for him anymore—that’s for sure, but she still was afraid of the implications of the attraction she had for him, and of the interest he had in her. 

 

She knew that he liked her, he seemed to have noble intentions toward her, but she couldn’t shake the fear of not being good enough and that he would grow tired of her and leave her.

 

Emma closed her eyes, and the last thing she saw before drifting to sleep was  him .


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? another update? Well yes! I was so excited to finally get this chapter, and this chapter really deserves it's rating!
> 
> Enjoy!

The next morning, Emma woke up around 10 a.m. and traded her pyjama shorts for her jeans shorts and changed her white camisole for a red one. She got out of her room and went to the kitchen to make herself some breakfast.

 

As she walked through the hallway, she noticed that all the doors were still closed, a sign that everyone was still asleep. When she got to the kitchen she instantly walked towards the coffee machine and made a good amount so it would be ready for when the others awoke.

 

As the coffee was brewing, Emma took a sesame bagel and dropped it in the toaster as she went to grab the cream cheese in the fridge while it grilled. When it popped out, she went to grab a plate for her a bagel and then spread the cream cheese. Before leaving the kitchen, she grabbed a mug for her coffee and poured the necessary ingredients for it to be at her taste. When the breakfast was ready, she grabbed the plate and the mug and went outside to eat. The weather was warm as was the wind; Emma deciding to go sit on the dock so she could soak her feet into the water.

 

When Emma finished eating, she dropped her plate next to her on the dock, and let her hands fall behind her so she could lean back, her upper body now supported by her arms. Emma closed her eyes  as she tilted her head back, enjoying the sound of the waves, and the sun warming her skin.

 

She was pulled out of her reverie when she heard somebody’s footsteps approach and turned her head to the side as she looked up to see who it was.

 

Killian was standing next to her, mug in hand, looking down at her with a shy smile.

 

“Do you mind if I join you?”

 

“No, I don’t mind.” She answered as she straightened her back.

 

He sat down next to her, depositing his coffee mug on his other side, dipping his feet in the water as well. Emma looked at him subtly and she wondered if he ever looked unattractive.

He was wearing a dark grey pair of shorts exposing his calves, with a black V-neck shirt.

They sat looking at the sight in front of them in silence, neither of them daring to speak first. Killian turned his head slightly towards her, and she did the same, their eyes quickly glancing at each other. He suddenly cleared his throat before he opened his mouth.

 

“Did you sleep well?” He asked as he broke the silence.

 

“I did, I was really exhausted so even if I’d slept on the couch I think I would’ve slept well.”

 

“I don’t think your body would agree in the morning, though.”

 

She chuckled at his comment and shook her head. “No, I don’t think it would.”

 

They both looked at each other with a sheepish smile not knowing how to continue this conversation. Deciding to end this awkwardness, she mustered some courage and forced herself to face what she was afraid of doing. She inhaled deeply, licking her lips in the process before speaking.

 

“Look, um, Killian about the other night—“ She started but was quickly interrupted by Killian.

 

“Don’t worry about it Emma. You were in a vulnerable state after seeing your ex with another woman, and, well, you’re going through a lot. I don’t want to be the reason for you to feel pressured.”

 

Emma looked at him, taken aback by what he was saying.

 

“Thank you.” She responded shyly, happy that he was understanding.

 

“But I want you to know this, Emma.” He started as he shifted his upper body towards her, his gaze locked with her.

 

“I care about you deeply and I don’t scare away easily and I won’t abandon you like the others. So I’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready because I’m in this for the long haul.”

 

She searched his eyes, looking for any trace of lie in his statement and when she didn’t find one, her eyes fluttered as her cheeks reddened, as she took in the implication of his words.

Emma looked at him, mouth agape, not knowing what to respond. Seeing that she wasn’t responding to his confession, he got up, taking his mug with him.

 

“See you later.” He said before walking down the dock towards the house. Emma watched him go, and turned back around when he entered the house. 

 

She looked at the lake thinking about what just happened.  Did he really mean what he said?  Neal had told her he would always be by her side no matter what, and he still left.

Emma kept thinking that Killian’s intentions might be noble, but he didn’t know her well enough and he will end up by leaving her eventually despite what he just said.

 

-/-

 

Killian went back into the house, as he went to drop my mug in the kitchen sink. His hands grabbed the edge of the counter. He knew she wasn’t going to actually say anything after revealing his intentions, but something would have been nice.

 

Now the ball was in her court, and all he could do now was wait and hope she’d let herself open up to him soon enough and let him in behind those walls of hers.

 

Killian sighed, feeling kind of relieved that he had made his intentions known to her, that he did whatever was in his power for the moment. His train of thought were interrupted when Victor entered the room with Ruby at his side.

 

He smiled at them as he turned around to greet them. I went to sit at the small table in the kitchen when the soon-to-be-married couple entered as well. Ruby and David came to join him at the table while Victor started to prepare some breakfast for everyone, Mary Margaret more than happy to help him prepare the food.

 

“Did any of you see Emma this morning? Her bedroom door was open but I didn’t see her in the house?” Asked Ruby as she looked around the large kitchen.

 

“I was just with her, she’s outside at the docks.” He informed her as four sets of eyes landed on me as if told the news of the century.

 

“What?” He asked suspiciously.

 

“Nothing.” Quickly answered Mary Margaret, deflecting the awkward situation. “So, what do you guys want to do today?”

 

“Oh, we could go out on the sea-doo!” Exclaimed Ruby.

 

“That’s a great idea.” The short-haired brunette mirrored her friend’s reaction.

 

“What’s a good idea?” Asked Emma as she entered the kitchen with her dirty dishes as she went to the sink to drop her dishes. 

 

“Hey Emma, we were thinking on going out on the sea-doo today. You in?” Asked Ruby while Emma shrugged her shoulders.

 

“Sure, why not?”

 

“Great! So, let’s eat breakfast and then let’s get ready!” Proposed Mary Margaret.

 

“Well, I already had breakfast. I’ll just go change and start preparing the watercraft.” Killian told them as he got up and walked towards the hallway that lead to his room.

 

He closed the door after entered the room and went to his luggage to retrieve his bathing suit, ridding himself from his clothes. When he was ready, he left my bedroom and took the other path leading outside, the one that was closer to where they stored the watercraft.

 

Killian took out a couple of life jackets from the garage and dropped them on the docks near the stairs that lead into the lake water. When he finished dropping the sea-doos on the water, he saw from the corner of his eye, Emma coming out through the sliding door wearing a black bikini, the color contrasting with her pale skin.

 

She sauntered in his direction and he couldn’t help himself to look at her, stopping whatever he was doing, taking in how beautiful and sexy she looked, exposing her long, pale legs, her blonde curls bouncing around her as she walked towards him, the cleavage of her top giving him a good glimpse of what she hid underneath. The shiny fabric covered the parts of her body in a way that he only wanted to tear them off her.

 

Killian swallowed and quickly licked his dry lips, and turned his gaze back to my work, trying to control the reaction of his body to such a vision. Not long after, he felt her body heat radiating next to his.

 

“Can I do something to help?” She asked with her hands on her barely-covered hips, his eyes inadvertently went down to look at her bosom, quickly lifting them back to her eyes.

 

“No, everything is in place. Do you want to go for a ride while we wait for the others to finish getting ready?” Killian asked, cursing himself for letting his nervousness take over my voice. He glanced at her and he could sense she was unsure on whether to come with him or not as she was biting her bottom lip.

 

“Okay, why not?” She finally answered which made him grin at her response, as he then bent down to get her a lifejacket.

 

“Seriously? A lifejacket? It’s a lake, not the ocean.” She teased with a smirk and an eyebrow raised. He felt a warm feeling take over him, seeing that she decided to go back to teasing instead of fleeing.

 

“It may be a lake, love, but I still prone to security while navigating the water. And I would rather have this sight,”  He paused as his hand gestured toward her form, “instead of a horrid, yellow vest.” 

 

She rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face betrayed the annoyed façade she had. “It’s not a boat, Jones.” She teased, grabbing the yellow lifejacket from his hand as she put it on.

 

Killian grabbed his own jacket and when they were both ready, walked towards the watercraft.

He placed himself in the front so he could maneuver it and held his hand outwards to help her climb on, as she then sat behind him. When she was seated she seemed to slightly hesitate before circling her hands around his torso, her hands grasping the front of his vest. Killian had to take a deep breath to calm his nerves as he started the engine.

 

“Ready?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Hold on tight.” He instructed her as he turned the handlebar making the sea-doo move slowly, it’s pace going faster as he increased the speed.

 

They bounced on the seat caused by the force of the machine hitting the water. They were going further and further away from Victor’s summerhouse as Killian made straight line forward.

 

“Brace yourself, I’m going to start going in circles.” He yelled so Emma could hear him through the noise of the engine. Killian heard her reply a loud ‘ Okay’  near his ear.

 

Killian started to navigate the sea-doo, making them go in circles. He heard her curse as the machine tilted a bit too much, followed by giggles. It made him smile knowing that she was enjoying herself out here and decided to make smaller circles, making the craft tilt to the side in a hard angle.

 

After a moment, it decided to tilt all the way to the side making them fall in the water, a  yelp escaping her lips before they both fell in the water. They both resurfaced from the water at the same time. Her wet hair was covering her face as she stayed there floating in front of him and she couldn’t stop laughing.

 

He looked at her, amazed since he’d never seen her so carefree, the way she laughed was so contagious that he couldn’t stop himself from joining her. He swam forward as his hand went out of the water as he pushed a few strands of hair out of her face.

 

The moment his hand touched her face, she stopped laughing as her eyes lifted to seek his. They floated facing each other, their faces inches apart while his eyes shifted to her pink lips. His chest was heaving as he felt this need to kiss her despite the promise he had made her earlier that day. He caught her doing the same and he knew that he should lean back before they both do something they might regret. He managed to lean back and looked back at the sea-doo that was now upside down. 

 

“We should head back.” She said, out of breath.

 

“Sure.” Killian simply answered as he went to turn the watercraft so they could climb back in. When they were back on it, she secured her hand around him, and he drove back to the dock without any incident.

 

When their feet were once again in dry land, the awkwardness between them came back and all the flirtatious banter gone. They took off their vests in silence as they then dropped them on the dock.

 

“So, did you like it?”

 

“I did, it’s a nice feeling having the wind blow on you. It makes you feel free.” She answered with a smile, which he returned.

 

-/-

 

They spent the rest of the evening going in and out of the water, going for a swim or sometimes just laying down on their towel taking advantage of the warmth of the sun. When their stomachs started to growling, they decided to grab some snacks that they left on the table on the deck, and started to prepare themselves to make supper.

 

Emma decided to take a shower to rinse the water of the lake off her hair and herself. When she was done, she went back to her room and opened her luggage. She skimmed through the clothes she had brought and settled on wearing summer dress. The top of the dress was filled with small little flowers and the bottom of it was plain white. The strap of the dress rested at the back of her neck leaving her shoulders bare.

 

When she was ready, Emma went to join Mary Margaret and Ruby who were already in the kitchen preparing their part of the supper. Mary Margaret was peeling the skin off of some potatoes and Ruby was standing next to her cutting the skinless potatoes into little cubes. Emma went to grab herself a knife and went to help her friend peel the potatoes.

 

“Wow, you dressed yourself up!” Exclaimed Ruby when she lifted her eyes up from her task making Mary Margaret shift her head to look at her.

 

“Emma, you look beautiful in that dress.” She added, making her feel as if she may have overdressed.

 

“Thank you.” She told them as her cheeks went red. She grabbed a potato and started to peel off the skin.

 

“Did you make yourself all pretty for Killian?” Asked Ruby with teasing smile. Emma dropped her knife on the counter and turned her gaze towards her friend.

 

“No, I did not. Why are you guys making such a big deal with the fact that I’m wearing a dress? It’s a summer dress, I think I’m allowed to wear it.”

 

“Of course you are, sweetie, but it’s just that we rarely get to see you in such lovely wardrobe. And you can’t blame us for thinking it’s for him. I mean you two have been flirting all day.” Added Mary Margaret.

 

Emma’s eyes widened at Mary Margaret’s comment, her mouth opening and closing her mouth a couple of times.

 

“We have not!” She managed to blurt out, knowing that it was the worst possible answer, which made her friends chuckle.

 

“Please, Emma, you two were so smitten by each other. I don’t know what you guys talked about this morning but I think it worked.” Said Ruby.

 

“How do you know we talked this morning?” Emma asked with her eyebrows furrowed.

 

“Well we were wondering where you were and Killian told us that he was just with you on the docks, so we kind of assumed you two talked.” Responded the short-haired brunette.

 

“Did you?” Ruby added.

 

“Yes we did. Actually he did the talking.”

 

“What did he say?” 

 

“Well, that I shouldn’t stress myself out with the kiss we shared and that he knows I’m dealing with a lot right now. He also told me that he doesn’t scare easily and that he’s in this for the long haul.” She told them her friends eyes going wide with a big smile creeping on their faces.

 

“Oh my God, Emma! What are you waiting for?” Asked Ruby.

 

“Emma I think he really wants to be with you, don’t you want to give him a try?” Mary Margaret asked her with a slight plea in her voice. “I really think he can make you happy, I mean, he’s always been there for you when you needed him. That must mean something to you.”

 

“I know I should, and I do like him a lot, it’s just I’m scared that he might still leave me even if he told me he wouldn’t. Neal said the same thing and he still left.” Emma responded, exhausted by this internal struggle.

 

“Killian isn’t Neal, you should get that into your pretty little head. He won’t leave you. I mean I have never seen Neal look at you the way Killian does—like you were his whole world.” Her friends reassured her as they tried to reason with her.

 

“Can you at least promise us you’ll stop knocking yourself down with this and just take advantage of what’s in front of you?”

 

Emma looked at Mary Margaret’s pleading face, and then shifted to Ruby who wore an encouraging smile.

 

“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try.”

 

“Great.” She answered, and three of them went back to peeling the potatoes. Emma’s mind was still on what her friends had just told her.

 

When the food was ready, they decided to eat outside as they did the evening before. They stayed seated long after they finished eating, talking and drinking. When the sun settled they all decided to make a bonfire near the docks. 

 

She and the girls decided to clear the table from any dishes and put away the leftovers in the fridge. Emma stayed in the kitchen helping Mary Margaret cleaning up the dishes as Ruby went to place some lounge chairs around the bonfire. Victor and David came inside to grab a cooler and fill it with beer so they wouldn’t have to go inside every time they wanted a refill. 

 

When she finished cleaning Emma went to grab a bag of marshmallows in the cupboard with some skewers so they could all roast some of the treats on the fire. She then went to join the rest of the group that was already outside seated on their chairs. Emma dropped the marshmallows near the cooler and went to sit on the free chair as she then realised that they had left her the empty chair next to Killian. She glanced quickly at him, and he smiled at her. She returned his smile and sat on the chair next to him.

 

They spent the rest of the evening sitting there, drinking beer and sharing embarrassing stories about each other. They all drank a good amount of beer and a little after midnight David and Mary Margaret decided to go to bed. Emma went inside with them so she could get some blankets since the weather was now colder.

 

When she came back outside she saw Ruby and Victor walking towards her. Victor passed by her first, followed by Ruby who winked at her and murmuring  ‘good luck.’

 

She felt herself blush at her friend’s implication, and walked back slowly to where Killian was. She sat down on her chair, tucking her legs under her as she covered herself with the blanket. They stayed in silence watching the fire burn, hearing it crackle.

 

“So I guess it’s just us, then.” Said Killian, finally breaking the silence.

 

“Apparently.” They looked at each other before they both let out a nervous laugh.

 

“Do you think they left us here alone on purpose?” He asked before taking a sip of his beer.

 

“What do you think? Of course they did, and I’m convinced it was all Ruby’s idea.” Emma answered, taking another beer out of the cooler and opening it.

 

“Well, remind me to thank Ruby tomorrow.”

 

Emma glanced at him as she felt his eyes burn through her. Her cheeks reddenned at his comment and turned her head around so she could stare at the fire.

 

“I’m sorry, Emma, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Killian told her as he shifted on his chair.

 

“Don’t be. To be honest, I was nervous to be here this weekend knowing you would be here, but it turns out I have been having a lot of fun and you’ve been a part of it.” She admitted. Killian’s lips curled upwards as she noticed his cheeks go red under his stubble.

 

“Can I ask you a question?”

 

“You can ask me anything, love.”

 

“Why did you leave England? I mean, don’t you miss your family?” Killian shifted uncomfortably in his chair before setting his eyes hers.

 

“Why would I stay there when there’s nothing left for me?”

 

“That can’t be true, there must be someone over there that misses you?”

 

“No.” He answered simply as he shook his head slowly, his mouth curling downwards.

 

Emma stared at him, intrigued with his lack of information. She wanted to ask him to elaborate but she stopped herself of doing so knowing that if it was her, she wouldn’t have wanted people to pressure to relate something she doesn’t want to. She was about to change the subject when Killian opened his mouth again.

 

“My dad was an abusive drunk, who used to beat up my mother. I used to be the one to comfort my mother and one day I convinced her to leave him. I asked my brother Liam to come with us but he wouldn’t leave my dad behind, telling me that we couldn’t just abandon him. He had too much of a kind heart for that man, so he stayed with him. I just wanted to get away from that bastard who treated my mum poorly, she didn’t deserve him. My mum then died of cancer when I was 17, and I’ve never felt so alone after her passing, especially since my brother never came to her funeral.” He paused and Emma noticed his eyes watering, staring at the fire, as he licked his lips before continuing.

 

“I felt so empty, and without a home, a family, that is, until I met Milah. She was gorgeous and older than me, and I cared deeply for her. Maybe it was because she reminded me of my mother, since her husband abused her. She became my family and my reason to live. I loved her, and she loved me but never acted on her feelings because she was afraid of what her husband would do to her. One day she couldn’t handle it anymore and decided to end her life. I felt abandoned by the only person I could count on. That’s when Victor came back to England and sought me out and saw the state I was in, and he convinced me to come here. So, you see, there’s nothing left there for me, the only thing there is endless pain.” He switched his gaze from the fire to her, as she saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

 

Emma couldn’t believe what he had just told her. He was just as broken as she was. She finally understood the unspoken connection they shared, why he seemed to just understand her, genuinely understanding her trust issues. He had felt abandoned just as she did.

 

She locked her eyes on his, and without even noticing it she got up and went to straddle his hips, as she cupped his cheeks pulling him in for a searing kiss, pouring all of these unsaid feelings she had in it.

 

His hands went to cradle the back of her head, his tongue darting out to lick her bottom lip. He then broke the kiss, trailing his lips down her jaw, and down her neck, nipping at the skin at the crook of her neck, the action making her whimper.

 

Emma pushed her hips down, seeking some kind of friction, moaning when she felt his bulge underneath her. He growled as his lips went to lay soft kisses between her breasts, his hand going at the back of her neck, untying the knot that held her dress.

 

His hands then caressed her collarbone slowly going down as his hands took the top of her dress down, exposing her bosom. His fingers started to pinch and twist her nipples, as she felt liquid heat shoot down her core.

 

“Emma, oh Emma.” He chanted, his tongue replacing his hand on one of her breasts, sucking on the hardened, rosy nub. “Do you know what you do to me?”

 

Emma threw her head back, overwhelmed by his touch and his words, as she continued to sway her core on his, seeking the release that was slowly building deep down. One of his hands went down between them, massaging her bundle of nerves through her panties which were now completely soaked.

 

His mouth trailed back up so he could capture her lips for another kiss, as she reached her peak, making her moan into his mouth. His fingers moved aside the fabric covering her heat,  inserting two fingers inside her and leaving her no time to recover from her release. Emma fucked herself on his fingers seeking the tension that was already building inside her. She  dropped her head forward, her forehead resting on his when she came undone once again.

 

“Oh God, Emma, you’re so beautiful when you come for me.” He grunted in her ear, his lips sucking on her earlobe.

 

Emma managed to get up long enough so she could take off her panties, and Killian took the hint as he started to unbutton his shorts, pushing down his boxer briefs in the process. She swallowed when she saw his hard cock jutting out and licked her lips as she went down on her knees so she could taste him. Her hand went to grasp his silky length as she heard him gasp, his hips jolting at the contact. Emma bent her head forward but was stopped by Killian.

 

“Emma, stop. I need to feel you.” He told her, his voice a complete wreck. He got up instead and grabbed the blanket on her chair and dropped it on the grass.

 

“Lay down, love.”

 

Emma obeyed him as she laid herself on her back. He bent over to take something out of his, a small squared package and tore it open. He took the content out and deposited it on his tip, rolling the condom down his length. She was too far gone to make a comment about him carrying a condom in his shorts, the only thing she wanted now was to feel him. 

 

When he was done, he pumped his cock a couple of times, as he bent himself down, joining her on the blanket, his hands going to the back of his neck pulling off his shirt. Emma spread her legs wider, her body humming with the anticipation of him inside her. His hands went to rest on her  hips, his eyes roaming her naked body.

 

“God, you’re beautiful.”

 

Her cheeks turned red, and felt this warm feeling rushing through her veins. He kept one hand on her hip while the other took his shaft, aligning himself at her entrance. Emma felt him stretch her slowly, a delicious burning feeling making her eyes water, since it had been a long time since she’s been intimate with someone.

 

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” He said as he pushed his hips further. When he was finally fully inside her, he leaned forward and captured her lips for a slow kiss. EmmaI felt overwhelmed by him filling her and it felt amazing.

 

He continued to kiss her as he pulled back until only the tip remained. He then started to thrust his hips in a steady rhythm, making them both moan in pleasure. She felt her body simmer with lust as her orgasm approached again, her hands going to his back, nails clawing at the skin, marking him as hers.

  
  


“Come for me, I want to hear you again, love.” His voice rasped in her ear, his words making her walls clench as she came for him for the third time. His hips moved a couple more times, riding out her release as his took over as he grunted loudly.

 

He held himself on his elbows, his lips lazily kissing her. He leaned his head back, his blue eyes sparkling and seeking hers, expressing his tenderness through them.

 

“Please don’t run away from me?” He asked her with a plea in his voice. “I want you, I need you Emma.”

 

His words made her heart beat faster, faster that it was already beating.

 

“I won’t. I’m tired of running.” Emma answered him with a smile, relieved by her own confession.

They laid down on the blanket for a while, savouring the afterglow of their coupling, before Killian proposed her to go back to his room.


	13. Chapter 13

She was still sound asleep when she felt this tension build between her legs as she soon realized that it was Killian’s hand that was placed under her panties. His fingers were lazily stroking her bundle of nerves while his mouth was laying soft kisses down her shoulder. Emma bit her lip to keep from herself from moaning. She moved slightly to adjust her position as she pushed back her hips on him and suddenly felt him hard and hot on her buttocks. He let out a low groan as his mouth reach her earlobe, tugging on her the flesh with his teeth while his hand pushed down her panties.

 

“Good morning love.” He greeted her huskily. 

 

Emma hummed at his words, her way of greeting him since she was already far too gone from his previous ministrations. When her panties were down to her knees, Killian skimmed his fingertips inside her thigh until it reach her dripping core, not wasting any time in inserting one finger as it made her gasp at the welcome intrusion. He quickly added a second finger as they then moved at a torturous pace which only made her crave more of him. Suddenly, his hand left her center making her feel empty as she whimpered at the lost of his touch. Killian shifted behind her and Emma heard the rustling sound of his boxers as he pushed them down.

 

“Do you know how many time I dreamt about you this way? Naked and ready for me.” He whispered down her which only made her moan and make her even more desperate to feel him inside her. She felt the tip of his cock tease her entrance while Killian nudged her legs with his knee so she could lift her right leg up. 

 

“Fuck Emma, you’re so wet for me.” His voice came out strangle as he started to push himself slowly inside her. 

 

Her hand went to grip his hip for support, nails digging into his flesh as he kept thrusting inside her. Killian moaned into her ear when she started to push back so he could go deeper. 

 

Ever since they came back to his room the previous night, they haven’t been able to keep their hands off each other. They barely slept throughout the night, only taking a quick nap between their coupling so they could then enjoy their company once again. Emma had never been this worshipped by someone in bed, not even with Neal, making it easy to get addicted to Killian. After their night of passion, Emma’s body felt sore and utterly used in the best kind of way and she didn’t care that she already craved having him inside when it was the best feeling.

 

Killian suddenly picked up the pace, his hips slapping her behind, his hand traveling down her front as two fingers started to tease her above where they were join, making her come in a matter of seconds. 

 

When Emma managed to come down from her release, she pulled him out and turned on her stomach and then got up so she could straddle him. Her hands fell to his chest for support as he guided the tip of his cock to her entrance. Emma started to move her hips up and down, making him moan and grunt at the sensation. She kept a fast pace for them, and felt him his body go still when he came with a low groan.

 

Emma fell forward, her head settling on his chest, both panting from their most recent coupling. She raised her head and kissed him tenderly as his hand caressed her face, pushing back a strand of hair from her sweaty forehead. She rolled to her side while Killian cleaned himself before mirroring her position. Their eyes were locked with one another, as they caressed each other’s body with soft touches of their fingertips.

 

“So,” Emma said as she broke the comfortable silence they were in. Killian hummed as he kissed her neck softly, his arm around her waist as he pushed her flat against his chest before raised his head to level hers.

 

"So?"

 

"What is this? Us?" She asked reluctantly, not wanting to have the talk now. 

 

She knew that they needed to clarify whatever this was before she got of the room to deal with her friends and possibly freak out. Killian sighed before answering and Emma could tell that he was nervous about the possible outcome.

 

"I don't know about you, but I like you a lot, Emma, and I don't intend to go anywhere. I just need to know what you want from me before I get too many ideas of what this is." He told her while his hand was caressing her arm.

 

"Well, I know I like you… a lot. I don't know if I'm ready to get into a relationship again, but I don't want to stop whatever this is we have going." Emma admitted. It was true, she didn't want to stop seeing him but she would be lying if she said she wasn't scared. Like she told him the night before, she was tired of running.

 

"Then don't. Look, I won't pressure you into a relationship, but I'm willing to stay with you. We can just see where this goes, and decide later on down the line."

 

Emma smiled at him, her heart heating up at his words. She couldn't believe that she had met someone so understanding and perfect. She leaned in and captured his lips for a searing kiss. When they broke the kiss, she locked her eyes with his and smiled as she whispered 'okay'.

 

They stayed in bed for a little while longer, cuddling as they decided that it was time to eat something.

 

Emma put back on the dress she was wearing the night before and decided that maybe it was best for her to change before joining everyone else. Before leaving his room, she kissed Killian tenderly before leaving him. She went back to her room to grab some clean clothes and then headed to the bathroom for a shower.

 

As she stood under the tepid water, she couldn't get rid of the huge grin that was now stuck on her face. For the first time in a very long time, she felt happy and free. Deciding to let Killian in was maybe one of the best decision she may have taken so far. It didn't stop her of being afraid but at least she had this feeling that she could trust him.

 

When Emma finally finished cleaning and drying herself, she got dressed and then went to the kitchen to get herself something to eat.

 

As she entered the room, her eyes instantly landed on Killian, who was sitting at the table with Victor, mug of coffee in hand. Emma felt her cheeks turn red as butterflies started to party in her belly when he lifted his eyes towards her.

 

A small smirk appeared on his face, his eyebrow raising which only made him look even more sinfully handsome. Emma smiled shyly at him as she greeted the guys. She walked towards to coffee maker and poured herself a cup as she then went to join the girls outside.

 

Emma saw Ruby and Mary Margaret sitting on the dock. The moment she sat down next to Ruby, she felt two pair of eyes fixed on her. 

 

"What?"

 

"So, are you going to tell us what happened last night?" Ruby asked with a huge smile.

 

"Did something happen last night?" Emma feigned ignorance, knowing exactly what she meant.

 

"Oh, come on, Emma, you know very well what I'm talking about. What happened when we all went to sleep and you stayed outside with Killian?"

 

Emma tried to figure out how to explain them everything that happened last night. Killian telling her the reason he left his country, his parents and brother, and the woman he loved.

 

His confession was what finally made her realize why she felt so vulnerable and exposed around him. Killian understood her better than anyone could. It was the last push she needed to finally embrace whatever feeling she was trying to push down.

 

Emma felt herself blush when she remembered what happened after on his chair, near the fire and then again, all night long in his bed.

 

The color of her cheeks betrayed any scenario that she was going to tell them, Ruby gasping as she instantly understood what had happened followed by Mary Margaret's whispered question.

 

"You two  slept together?"

 

“Uh...yes.” Emma replied hesitantly. A big smile appeared on both of her friends faces, clearly happy of the development. 

 

“How did it happen?” Ruby asked as she scooted closer to her.

 

“Well, you guys all went to sleep, and we got to talking and he told me about what made him leave England, and then I kissed him.” She shrugged as if it was nothing, even though she and her friends knew it wasn’t.

 

“Just like that?” Added Mary Margaret still surprised by the turn of events.

 

“Yeah. I have my reasons.” Emma said, not wanting to tell them his story, since it was his to tell, and that moment that occurred, the connection, well it  was their moment.

 

“How was it?” Emma turned around to look at Ruby with both of her eyebrows raised. “I bet it was good, he seems like he’s good.”

 

“ Ruby! You have a boyfriend!” Yelped Mary Margaret, shocked by their friend’s statement.

 

“What?” It’s true! And just because I have a boyfriend doesn’t mean that I can’t think about it!” She answered to their friend as Emma started to laugh at them. Ruby then looked back at her, still waiting for an answer.

 

“It was good.” She felt her cheeks burn and she just knew that she must be bright red.

 

"Mmm, I think it was better than good seeing the color of your face." Said Ruby, which made her laugh nervously. "What happened after, did you two go your separate ways?"

 

"Actually, I spent the night in his room." She quickly answered before taking a sip of her coffee, which earned her another loud gasp from Ruby. The girls spent a couple more minutes asking her about what they did all night, and Emma answered them with a simple ' it's none of your business, but I can tell you that I enjoyed myself,' which seem to finally shut them up.

 

"Then what does this mean? Are you together now?" Mary Margaret asked, a little concerned.

 

"Yes – no – I don't know. I mean, I like him a lot, and I know that he likes me. But, I don't think I'm ready for another relationship. I just told him that I wanted to take this slow and see where it goes, not wanting to pressure myself."

 

"Well, I think it's a wise decision on taking things slow, but don't let your experience with Neal close yourself off to the idea of being in a relationship."

 

"I'll try." She promised her friend, before changing their discussion to what they were going to do for the rest of the day, since it was our last day at Victor's summerhouse.

 

-/-

 

After Emma left his room, he couldn't stop smiling as he still felt like whatever happened since last night was just a dream. That none of it was true, that Emma didn't come up to him and kiss him, that she didn't spend the night in his room, making all of his wildest dreams come true. But, her scent was still lingering in his room, which proved him wrong,  it really happened .

 

Killian got out of his room when he was fully dressed and went to the kitchen where Victor and David were. He greeted them as he went to grab himself a cup of coffee, really needing the caffeine boost since he hadn’t had the chance to sleep much the previous night, not that he was complaining.

 

He sat next to his mate and tried to follow the conversation he and David were having, but his mind was filled with images of  her . Not long after, David excused himself as he went to prepare his things since he and Mary Margaret were leaving soon.

 

A few minutes later, Emma entered the kitchen looking as beautiful as always and he couldn’t help his lips to curve upwards, especially when he noticed the pink shade that appeared on her cheeks. His eyes followed her as she prepared her coffee. He was so entranced watching her that he didn’t notice Victor talking to him. When Emma left the kitchen with a smile on her face, Killian returned his attention to his friend with a huge grin on his face. 

  
  


"You finally made some progress with Emma, didn't you?" It was now his turn to blush at his friend's question.

 

"I did indeed." Killian simply answered not wanting to go into details of what happened with her. Victor got the hint and didn't pressure him on the matter as they then started to talk about what we could do today as he made himself something to eat.

 

Later that morning, Mary Margaret and David were preparing to leave, and he realized that maybe Emma would be leaving too since she arrived with them here. Not wanting to pressure her or be overbearing, Killian hesitated in front of her door if he should knock or just leave her be. 

 

He finally decided to knock on the door with two short knocks and waited for her to answer. His mouth fell open when she opened her door as she was wearing her black bikini. His eyes roamed her body as his mouth went dry, and he felt the sudden need to just grab her by the waist and kiss her senseless. Her voice pulled him out of my reverie as she invited him to enter her room.

 

"So, what's up?" She asked him as she went back to stuff her bag with her things. Her back was to him, her upper body bent forward, exposing her behind in that black bikini bottom. Killian gulped hard as he readjusted himself in his shorts before answering her.

 

"Well, I wanted to know if you were leaving with David and Mary Margaret, but seeing you in that outfit I think I got my answer."

 

She straightened herself and turned around to face him. Emma crossed her arms across her chest, pushing her breasts together, making the view even more tempting.

 

"Really, and what would that be?" She asked her voice low, his eyes not capable of leaving her perfect bosom. "My eyes are up here." She teased after a moment, seeing that he wasn't answering.

 

"Sorry love, but the view is quite distracting." He told her as he finally managed to level his eyes with hers, which had a spark in them that he'd only seen in the last couple of hours.

 

Emma hummed as she uncrossed her arms, closing the space between them, wrapping her arms around his waist, as she licked her lips slowly, her eyes fixated on his

.

Bloody minx. She was doing it on purpose.

 

"What are you going to do about it?" She asked in a seductive voice as she raised her head up.

 

"I may have an idea or two." Was the last thing he said to her before he pressed his lips firmly on hers. He tilted his head to the side to deepen the kiss as he slowly felt himself grow desperate, wanting her to make her his yet again.

 

Killian kept kissing her as he started to move forward, the back of her knees hitting the edge of the bed as she then fell on the mattress, as he he followed her. He hovered above her as he pressed open-mouth kisses along her neck and her collarbone as it made her whimper with need. He felt Emma roll her hips on his bulge, which made him quickly losing any semblance of control he had as he pushed his hips on her center, earning himself a soft moan. Her hand went to work on the buttons of his shorts when they were interrupted by a knock on the door, followed by David’s voice. 

 

"Emma, we're about to leave. You coming?"

 

"Yes, I'll be out in a second. I'll meet you at the car." She yelled back as she was still under him. 

She gave him an apologetic smile as they untangled themselves. Killian stayed seated at the edge of her bed as she went to grab a dress to wear over her bikini.

 

"You're leaving with them?" He asked her, not able to conceal the disappointment in his voice, since he was wishing to prolong this weekend with her as much as he could.

 

"I was supposed to, but I asked Ruby and Victor to give me a ride back, with you." She answered shyly as she readjusted her hair in a more presentable way. Killian smiled as he heard her answer and felt relieved that he still had the whole day with her.

 

"I promised David and Mary Margaret that I was going to say goodbye at the car. See you at the lake?"

 

"Well if you don't mind, I'll accompany you, it would be bad form for me to not bid them goodbye." She smiled at him before opening the door and walked out, as he followed her.

 

After saying goodbye to her friends, Ruby, Victor, Emma and Killian decided to enjoy the nice weather and the lake. Throughout the afternoon, he wanted nothing more but to grab Emma by the waist and kiss her, hold her hand, and touch her. He managed to restrain himself not knowing how she would react; she wanted to take things slow and he honestly didn’t know how she felt about PDA.

 

The afternoon unfortunately came to an end, and they had at one point to go back to their rooms to pack their things. They also made sure that everything that they had taken out were now safely put back in their respective place, and made a last check up at the kitchen and all the other rooms. Before leaving, Mary Margaret had taken all the covers, sheets and pillowcases to the washing machine, so Ruby and Emma went to get them out of the dryer and folded them.

 

When all was done, they grabbed their bags and went to put them in Victor's trunk as he made sure that the windows were closed and locked all the doors. They got into the car, Killian and Emma sitting in the back, as they listened to Victor's playlist on the ride back to the city.

 

During the drive, he and Emma kept stealing glances at each other and smiling. Every now and then their fingers brushed together, his breath hitching as he felt a jolt of electricity course through his body every time. At one point, he took her hand in his, the need to touch her too great. Killian felt a wave of relief when she didn't pull away and instead squeezed his hand.

 

It has been such a long time since he had felt this alive and happy and it was all due to her. He didn't expect her at all to react the way she did the previous night after he told her about his family, about Milah. Killian was glad he told her about it, so she could understand that he did know how it felt to be abandoned, to have the people you cared so much about leave you.

 

They ride came to an end as they  arrived in front of Emma's building an hour and half later. Victor stopped the car near the sidewalk. Emma thanked Victor and Ruby for inviting her for the weekend before she turned her gaze to me, as he noticed that she was nervous.

 

"Um… Do you want to help me with my bag?" She asked hesitantly, clearly cursing herself for her lame excuse for them to be alone.

 

"Of course.” They got out of the car and went to open the trunk so they could get her bag. As she grabbed it, she shifted nervously before opening her mouth.

 

"Do you want to come upstairs?" She blurted out nervously. He couldn't help himself but to smile and agree to her request. 

 

He took his bag and went to see Victor through the driver's window and told him that he was going to accompany her upstairs and that he would walk myself home. His friend winked at him as Ruby smirked as she wished him good luck. He chuckled uncomfortably at their response and said goodbye to them before joining Emma at the bottom of the stairs of her building.

 

They climbed the stairs in silence as he still couldn't believe that all of this was happening, that this weekend happened. It was too good to be true, but he was going to enjoy every last bit of it. They arrived at her door as she unlocked and opened it.

 

"You can leave your bag here." She told him as she pointed him the entrance hall. He did as he was told and walked further in her apartment.

 

"So…" Killian started, not knowing at all what to say.

 

"Yeah…um… you want a beer?" She asked as she started to walk towards her fridge.

 

"No, I should be going soon. I have things to do at home as I'm sure you do, too." He told her, not knowing why he said that. I didn't want to leave soon, quite the opposite actually.

 

"Okay then. See you soon?" She asked him when she stopped in front of him with a disappointed look.

 

"Yes." He answered. His hand went to cup her cheek as he closed the remaining space between them and kissed her softly. Her hands went to grab the collar of his shirt crushing him into her as she opened her mouth, darting her tongue in his mouth. Killian responded with equal fervour as his other hand that was resting on her waist trailed down to cup her buttocks.

 

Emma pushed him towards the couch and it didn't take long for them to get rid of their clothes. She straddled his hips and sank down on him as she swayed her hips until they were both reaching that sweet release they were both craving since she had left his room that morning.

 

They stayed on the couch, their bodies covered by a sheen of sweat, pressed together as they tried to get their breathing under control. Emma leaned back and kissed him tenderly. They  finally decided to get up and dressed themselves, as it was getting late and he unfortunately needed to get back home.

 

"So, you know that David and Mary Margaret are getting married soon?" She asked him as she was getting dressed.

 

"I do, what about it?"

 

"Well, I'm the maid of honour, and well the invitation says that I can bring a date." She started to explain before he cut her off.

 

"Are you asking me out, Swan?" Killian asked her with a smirk as he sauntered his way up to her, placing his hands on her hips, pulling her body towards his.

 

"Shut up." She answered with a smile. "Okay, I am. Do you want to be my date?"

 

"Of course, love. Anything for you." She smiled at him before pressing her lips on his, murmuring  'thank you'  as she kissed him.

 

They were interrupted when a loud knock came from the door. Emma broke the kiss, and she gave him a confused look.

 

"Are you expecting anyone?" He asked as she shook her head. "Do you want me to go answer?"

 

"No, it's fine. Stay here. I'll be back in a second." She told him as she walked past him and went through the hallway that led her to her door. He heard her talking with the person who knocked, the voice seemed to be male, and he suddenly heard her voice rise.

 

Deciding to see what was happening, Killian got up from the couch and walked towards the hall to join her and he  felt myself freeze when he saw who it was at the door.

  
Neal, her ex-boyfriend.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any mistakes and mispell are my own.

“Why? Is it because of him?” Her breath hitched at the mention of Killian and how Neal’s tone went from loving to offended. 

 

“Not just him.” She ran her hand through her hair as she took a deep breath. “We had our time together, and it was good for the most part. Breaking up was a wise choice for both of us.” She smiled at him, hoping that he would understand what she was trying to say.

 

“How long after we broke up did it take for you to jump into bed with him?” His question caught her by surprise and couldn’t help but sense that she was being accused of something.  

 

“What are you implying? That I cheated on you? That I had sex with someone else the moment you left me?” Emma felt herself get angry and upset, her voice now louder as the words left her mouth.

 

“Come one Emma, I saw the way he was looking at you at David and Mary Margaret’s engagement party.” His voice was now matching hers, and she couldn’t believe that the discussion had escalated to that topic. 

 

“That means absolutely nothing. I’m not the one who was hooking up with some skanky brunette not even a few weeks after we had broken up, so don’t come here and act all jealous accusing me of sleeping with Killian after you left me.” She yelled as she felt the blood running through her veins boiling, making her cheeks burn.

 

“What are you talking about?” Neal asked, his voice low.

 

“I went to this bar to watch a band play with a friend and I saw you there flirting with a random chick.” His face fell when he realized that he had been caught back then. 

 

“Whatever happened in my life after we broke up doesn’t concern you, not anymore.” He rubbed his eyes with one hand, sighing when his hand then fell down at his side. 

 

“Does he make you happy?” 

 

Emma couldn’t help the smile that spread over her face as she thought about Killian and how good he made her feel. “He really does.”

 

He nodded in response, clearing his throat as he shifted on his feet as he looked back at the door. 

 

“I guess I should go then.” 

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Goodbye Emma.” Neal leaned in for a friendly hug but quickly refrained himself instead pressing a chaste kiss on her cheek before leaving. 

 

Emma let out a sigh of relief when she heard the door close and then slumped on her couch. She looked around the room and she couldn’t believe that not even half an hour ago, she was here with Killian, happy and in a good mood. She was still in awe on how her life was taking an unexpected and welcome turn to which Neal came to put a damp on. She only hoped that Killian didn’t think that Neal’s reappearance was going to change anything. 

 

-/-

 

E: He just left. 

 

K: Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?

 

E: I’m fine. No, it’s okay. I’m sorry that the weekend ended that way. 

 

K: Me too. It’s getting late, better get some rest Swan. Talk to you soon?

 

E: It’s probably a good idea. Yeah. Goodnight Killian. 

 

K: Sweet dreams Emma. 

 

-/-

 

Her day at work was uneventful, which she was grateful since her thoughts kept drifting back to her weekend. She still couldn’t believe everything that happened and couldn’t help but to smile every time she thought about him. It was usually followed with a guilt, wondering how he was feeling after Neal’s appearance. He was a bit distant in his texts the previous night and it made her nervous all of sudden. She tried to rationalize that it was only a text, it’s quite difficult to decipher someone’s mood and tone over a text message and told herself that they were okay. 

 

When the clock hit five, she cleared her desk and turned off her computer as she then made her way out of the building. Without even noticing it, she was walking towards the bar, as if her feet had decided before her brain could decided that she needed to see him. Emma didn’t know if he was working this evening, but there was no harm on checking out, and hopefully she would be able to surprise him. 

 

She entered the all too familiar bar, her eyes instantly scanning the people behind the bar. Disappointment washed through her when she didn’t see him and wondered what to do now. She stood near the entrance for a moment, deciding if she should stay for a drink or just walk back home. Emma was about to leave, deciding that she should better go home and order some food instead of spending her Monday evening drinking at a bar alone when she bumped into someone.

 

Strong hands were now holding her still as she lifted her head to apologize to the person she just bumped on but the words died on her tongue when she saw that it was Killian. He gave her one of his usual smirk with a cocked eyebrow as she felt her heart beat way too fast.

 

“Hi.” She breathed out, and inwardly cursed for sounding like a schoolgirl with a crush.

 

“You know if you wanted to hug me you could have just asked instead of blindly crashing on me.” She let out a laugh, happy that he started out with a joke which help her to get rid of the sudden nervousness that overcame her. 

 

“Sorry. I didn’t know you were behind me.” He smiled at her and scanned the bar as he took a deep breath.

 

“What are you doing here Emma?” He asked as his hand fell to the small of her back as he led her further inside, stopping them when they reached the counter. 

 

“I actually came to see you, but was about to leave when I saw that you weren’t here.” 

 

“My shift only starts in half an hour. I’m glad that I managed to see you, even though I would have loved for a less brutal welcome.” He teased as he pressed his forefinger to his lips, which made her snort in response. 

 

“Yeah okay.” She smacked the back of her hand on his chest like she always did when he was acting like the shameless flirt that he was. 

 

“What brings the pleasure of your company?” 

 

“I, uh, well I wanted to make sure that we were okay. I mean with Neal barging unannounced.” She licked her lips nervously, her heart squeezing when she saw him fidget while his hand came to scratch the back of his ear.

 

“I am, unless you came here with an ulterior motive.” He sounded as nervous as she was, and she realized that he thought she came to end things with him. 

 

Her chest tightened at the realization and she knew she had to show him that that wasn’t her intention, far from it. Emma pressed her hands at the nape of his neck as she raised herself on her toes so she could reach his lips. It didn’t take him long to bent his head lower so that their lips met halfway, as she tilted her head to deepen the kiss. She doesn’t know for how long they kissed but she made sure to pour all of her emotions in it so that he understood that he had nothing to fear. Emma pressed her forehead with his when she detached her lips, both of them trying to catch their breath.

 

“That was…”

 

“Me telling you how much I like you.” She finished his sentence as she leaned her head back to look at him. Her breath hitch when she saw the way he was looking at her, as if he couldn’t believe she was saying those things, and she realized how alike they both were, convinced that no one would want someone as broken as they were. Knowing that she wasn’t the only one who needing reassuring, she mustered the energy to find the words to tell him how she really felt. 

 

“I like you Killian, and this past weekend was the best thing that happened to me in a long time and no ex surprising me at my door will come to change how I feel about you.” The corner of lip twitched upwards before he his mouth came crashing down on hers, capturing her lips in a bruising kiss. He stopped kissing just for a moment as he whispered against her lips a raspy  ‘good’  which sent liquid heat down to her center and she only wished that they weren’t in public so she could have her way with him. They eventually stopped kissing, both to their disappointment since Killian needed to get to work. 

 

“What time do you get off?” She asked as she walked with him towards the door that to the back of the bar. 

 

“Midnight, but maybe earlier depending on how busy it is. Why?” 

 

“Well, I was thinking maybe you could make a stop at my place.” She bit her bottom lip, both knowing what that implied. Killian raised an eyebrow while he grinned at her.

 

“Only if you’ll have me.” 

 

“Always.” She leaned forward and kissed him before walking towards the door, turning her head around one last time to wink at him. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I apologize for how long it took me to update, RL and the muse aren't helping me get those stories written. Just a heads up, there is only one chapter left to this story and an most probably an epilogue.
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter! I would love to know what you guys thought of it! :):)
> 
> Caro


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